A Very Victorian Education Part 5

We live in a truly scary and increasingly depressing world, some parts scarier than others. My heart goes out to everyone touched by the horrors of violence from Iraq and Syria to France, Bangladesh to the US. Everywhere.

I hope this piece of drivel acts as a very small distraction to the madness going on around us.

Vive la France.

Carrie

 A Very Victorian Education

You can be never overdressed or over educated. – Oscar Wilde

Chapter 5

He wasn’t sure what broke his concentration, it may have been the loud rhythmic noise of horse’s hooves on the cobblestone just outside the window or perhaps it was the coarse shouting of the fruit sellers selling their wares. Whatever the reason Aubrey was grateful for it as he realised he was alone. He looked around the room, a room that he now spent several hours each day in and had come to hate every square inch of. It was a combination of bedroom, nursery and schoolroom, a room where he suffered indignities no young man should ever be subjected to. Depending on one’s perspective this was a room where he was being taught how to transform himself into a polite, graceful and obedient young man, respectful of and courteous to the opposite sex.  However from where he now stood or to be more accurate sat in a most ladylike pose, swathed in silks and satins, his back straight as a die from his tight corset -he had quite a different point of view. This was a room where he was continually under female supervision and subjected to an assortment of humiliations designed to subjugate and negate his masculinity. Of course it was an outrage that he had been forced to wear girl’s dresses but even worse was that he was now under the direct control of a Governess who embraced the challenge with an undisguised relish which the youth found extremely alarming and was terrified at the prospect of time he would have to serve under her authority. He shivered and closed his eyes as he remembered the first time he entered this room.

“Our time together will be magical, it will be like transforming the ugly duckling into a beautiful swan.” his Governess gushed enthusiastically when she first commanded him to sit at the juvenile, almost childish school desk situated to the rear of the spacious room.

“Lady Charlotte has charged me with the onerous task of instructing you in how to comport yourself as a female.... as a young lady..... and as you know she has given me free rein in how to achieve this. It is a great responsibility and an assignment I take very seriously.” she said earnestly as she stood over him as she stroked his hair with an almost sinister and vaguely threatening intent, his eyes were drawn to a long thin cane hanging off a thin leather belt around her tightly corseted waist.

 “Yes very seriously indeed.” she repeated before continuing “you will obey me at all times and as your tutor show me the respect my position deserves. I expect you may find this difficult at first but let me assure failure is not an option and corrective measures  will not be pleasant. Do I make myself clear?”

As her hands continued to stroke his hair the youth pressed his knees together in alarm and felt the now familiar yet disturbing sensation of the soft petticoats rub against his thighs, his stomach tightened as she fixed him with her pale blue eyes.

“Yes Miss Alice.” he replied quickly.

“Excellent, I’m sure you will make an eager and willing pupil. Now to your first lesson. I have seen examples of your handwriting and it really is dreadful.” she said a smile breaking out across her handsome face as she handed him a copybook and pen, but I’m confident we can change that. Isn’t that so?”

He was so nervous he could only nod his agreement.

“Wonderful!” she acknowledged his gesture then turned with a swish of skirts to the blackboard and wrote in beautifully embellished calligraphy

A petticoated boy is an obedient boy.

“An apt sentence, don’t you think?”she said, a wide smirk appearing in her face.

He could feel the tears welling up inside but before the first one appeared she said,

“Oh dear ...I almost forgot. It’s time for your morning milking.”

The knot in his stomach tightened yet again as he knew further humiliation awaited him.

She rang a bell and a few moments later Dora one of the housemaids appeared.

“The young master needs to be milked before his lessons begin.” Alice instructed Dora nonchalantly as if she was telling her to perform some mundane domestic task.

“I think it best if we move to the bed Miss.” Dora said as she took his hand.

Knowing a refusal would bring a harsh punishment Aubrey allowed himself to be guided to the bed without protest.

As he sat meekly on the bed Dora retrieved some silk and satin material from the tallboy.

“What beautiful petticoats.” she said as she lifted his skirts and as she felt for his penis added “and such delightful bloomers.”

He gasped as he felt her hand fondle his testicles and her other hand gently caress his member, immediately it had the desired effect and as his member grew Dora fixed him with her eyes, a disdainful smile crossing her beautiful mouth. He could not hide his shame and cast his eyes downwards as he felt the soft silk and satin envelope his shaft.

A shudder went through his body and it was over in a few moments. She cleaned him with a small fresh towel, quickly rearranged his bloomers and petticoats and led him back to his desk.

“Such weak creatures.” Alice said contemptuously examining he shamed boy’s face as Dora sat him down. Thank you Dora.”

“He should be manageable until his afternoon milking Miss.”  Dora said as she patted him on the head like a pet lap dog before leaving.

“Now back to your lesson. In your copybook you will write the sentence on the blackboard until I am satisfied you have copied it correctly.”

Wearily he adjusted his skirts underneath him and picked up his pen.

**********************************

That of course was now in the past, he tried to recall how many days had elapsed since his introduction to this room but such was the confusion swirling inside his head he was unable to do so. To avoid the thrice daily humiliation of his milking he had resolved to try and please his Governess as much as possible and he was now milked only when she considered he was reverting to more masculine behaviour. The momentary feeling of ecstasy he felt at ejaculation was immediately replaced by of deep humiliation and from Alice’s perspective his milking was successful in making him more docile. He never had time to think about this as he was constantly under female supervision.  But at least for now he was alone.

He shook himself from his recollections and looked down at the ladies fashion magazine he held in his gloved hands which were buttoned tightly just below his elbow. Becoming familiar with the latest female fashions was seen by his Governess as a necessary part of his training. He laid down the magazine on the seat beside him and turned his head tentatively. Yes! he was alone, he relaxed for a moment and let his hands drop onto the satin folds of the skirts of the elaborate gown he wore, the hem of which was spread out fan-like at his feet. He could not remember a time since he was placed under the control of his mother’s friend Lady Charlotte de Winter that he had been left alone for more than a few moments. He was never left unattended and was constantly in the company of females but now...... with none of them present he felt a tiny stirring of masculinity somewhere inside his being. He now had a brief respite from female tyranny.

This was such an unusual occurrence that at first he barely believed it but slowly his insecure and nervous brain confirmed the message his eyes were conveying. He wanted to slump back into the soft inviting cushions of the large couch but his strong and unyielding corset made that particular male trait impossible, its rigid and unforgiving whalebone ensured his back remained ramrod straight. No, his restrictive garment would not allow him that self-indulgence but at least he could enjoy the feeling of a little time however brief without being under the constant observation of prying and probing female eyes. This was the first time since he had been forced into feminine attire that he had been left alone, his waking hours were filled with female company, if it wasn’t his Governess , Alice or Miss Alice as he now had to address her, then it was Lady Charlotte or Felicity her ghastly daughter who constantly scolded him for minor misdemeanours. He also had to contend with the servants, those smirking housemaids who although made no direct insulting remarks, always seemed to have a scornful, contemptuous look on their faces, particularly when they arrived to relieve him of his masculine essence. But now at least he was free of these women, he wasn’t sure how long he had been alone, in fact such was his mental turmoil he wasn’t even sure how long he had been in Lady Charlotte’s house.  Was it four or five days, maybe it was a week? How long did his mother say she would be away, a week, two weeks? He shifted uncomfortably as his corset corrected his posture.

“How much longer do I have to remain in these hideous feminine garments?” he muttered somewhat nervously under his breath, still unsure if he was really alone even though the room was clearly empty.

Having ensured that there was no one else present he took the opportunity to stretch his legs. He rose from the couch and immediately felt the slight but still discernible tug of his heavy satin gown and four petticoats weigh on his body. He looked down and sighed despondently as the fabric of his gown protruded gently outwards from his chest by a most life-like prosthetic which was carefully affixed to his breast in order to create the illusion of a female bosom.  Before he took a step – and as was now usual for him- without pausing to consider what a naturally feminine action it was, he instinctively and carefully arranged the bulky material of the gown and petticoats over his hips so that it fell correctly. As a result of rigorous and exacting tuition from Alice this was a movement that had now become second nature to him. He felt the claves of his legs tighten as his three inch high-heeled boots, each with their ten metal buttons constricted his lower legs in the same way his corset performed a similar task to his upper body. The first steps were always the most intolerable, not in a physical sense as by now he had gotten used to the discomfort, the affliction he felt was to his masculine ego as the unmistakeable feminine rustle of taffeta and silk petticoats echoed around the empty room. Swish, swoosh. The emptiness of the room only served to amplify the distinctly ladylike sound as it seeped into his brain as if to say,

What a delightful girl you will make.

As he walked across the room he tried to block the sound from his mind but it was impossible, swish, swoosh, swish, swoosh. Just as escaping from his new feminine garments was impossible it was equally hopeless to free himself from the whispering feminine sound of the petticoats he was now obliged to wear as part of his new persona. It was not only his heavy gown and petticoats that hindered his male stride, since he had come under Alice’s supervision she had insisted that he wear  an extra long corset, one which went from just over his new female bust to half way down his thighs. No longer could he march confidently across a room like any self-respecting young man, now due to his three inch heeled boots and the long corsetry restricting his masculine gait he was forced to mince in a very feminine fashion. As he reached the window which looked out onto the street he tried to avoid his reflection in the full length mirror which was positioned close by but he found it impossible to drag his eyes away from the reflected image. The tight fitting silver coloured satin gown served to emphasise the faux female bosom, the bodice of heavy silk was decorated with ruffled Brussels lace and was draped almost like a jacket over the heavily ruched skirt which had a pleated hem several inches in depth. Attached to his waist under the gown was a large and cumbersome frame called a bustle which gave him the exaggerated shape at his rear end, a ridiculous contraption that every fashionable female now wore. The material was arranged ornately over the bustle and fell gracefully down the back of the skirt and formed a small train.

The combination of the faux bosom, corset and bustle created an unmistakeable feminine silhouette and, his face, adorned as it was with creams and powders gave him a distinctly androgynous look. Depending on the viewer’s perspective he was either a girlish boy or a boyish girl and this absurdity was creating even greater confusion inside his head. He forced   his eyes away from the mirror and gazed down onto the street below observing people going about their daily business. He saw two well dressed women walking side by side, their gowns gently swaying from side to side, his eyes returned to the mirror and to his horror he knew he would not look out of place if he was to join them. How could he retain a grip on his masculinity while dressed in such feminine fashions?  

“What are you doing Aubrey? Admiring yourself in the mirror, I suppose?” Alice, his Governess said sharply as she swept into the room  the sound of her petticoats filling the air, it was a sound he was now only too well acquainted with. “Perhaps you’re becoming even more feminine than we thought.

He was so lost in his thoughts he had not heard her open the door. He froze, rooted to the spot and felt his knees weaken at her voice, there was a time, a week ago maybe two he could not quite remember, when he would have reprimanded her for such an impudent remark but not now. No, not now, as he stood in front of her dressed from head to foot in a gorgeous dress any woman would have been delighted to wear he was no longer that confident or perhaps even arrogant young man. He was now a frightened and timid youth, imprisoned in the most unmanly confection of silk and satin imaginable. The look on her face told him he was in trouble, he felt the panic rising from within.

Idiot! Why didn’t I stay put? I should have known this was a test and she would return sooner than expected, he cursed himself silently. And just as I was getting on her good side.

 “Did you ask permission to leave your studies?” Alice asked brusquely.

The be-gowned boy turned around immediately and without a moment’s hesitation he curtsied demurely.

“Er...  um... No.... Miss. Sorry Miss Alice.” he mumbled desperately trying to find an adequate excuse for his latest misdemeanour.

“Oh dear Aubrey.” she sighed a note of disappointment in her voice as she stepped closer and stroked his face gently. “You know perfectly well that you should have asked my permission to leave your studies before I left the room. I can’t have my girl just getting up and moving about every time she feels like it. I thought you had made progress in acquiring the feminine values of honesty and trustworthiness but sadly I see that is not the case.”

Although her face did not display any signs of anger Aubrey knew only too well that he was in trouble. Of course it was ridiculous he thought to himself, a grown man having to ask permission to leave his seat but then again the very idea of a grown man being forced to wear a dress was so far beyond ridiculous as to border on the bizarre. He now inhabited a world where the normal rules of life did not apply. He was now firmly in the domain of women, forced to dressed and behave as one of them but completely oblivious to the subtle and mysterious idiosyncrasies of their sex. There were times when his Governess appeared pleased with his progress, after all he now curtsied to her without hesitation and rarely complained about his bulky and cumbersome gowns and petticoats. However there was always at least one, perhaps two of these cryptic customs and conventions which he failed to understand. This was always something simple that a man would never think of, perhaps the way he held a tea cup which she may have considered to be too manly or the manner in which he lowered himself onto a chair was deemed far too awkward to be considered in any way feminine. There seemed to be dozens of such complicated protocols for even the most basic actions, naturally he was punished for each transgression. It could be the cane or having to write lines in his copy book, it was truly demoralising. However he was a quick learner and by this stage in his training he was rarely punished a second time for the same offence. Now however he had committed yet another mystifying infringement of feminine etiquette, he grasped his skirts in trepidation this was    a gesture he noticed all women did when they became anxious- and now he was doing it also, but he had little time to admonish himself.

“But ...I ...only....” he blurted and suddenly the injustice of the situation overcame him and he felt a rush of blood to the head “It’s just not fair” he shouted and stamped his buttoned up ankle boot on the floor.

He knew he had gone too far and held his hand to his mouth.

Alice’s tilted her head ever so slightly, her eyebrows arched the merest fraction, it was the subtlest of movements but it created a sense of panic in his muddled brain. A week ago, like any other male, he would not have understood the significance of such a gesture but now after days of confinement in corsets, petticoats and satin gowns being constantly immersed in the art of femininity he immediately comprehended this peculiarly feminine signal. And it was not good. He had undergone various degrading punishments since he had entered this house and he now recognised only too well that he had once more fallen foul of his Governess. As he and every other female in Lady Charlotte’s house knew he was now physically unable to resist any humiliation forced on him and would have to face any punishment that Miss Alice deemed appropriate for any perceived misbehaviour. He would have to beg forgiveness and hope that her retribution would not be too severe. He held his skirts and curtsied.

“I’m so sorry Miss Alice please forgive me.” he pleaded, the tremor in his voice was clearly audible, the alarm visibly evident.

“Well at least you have learnt something.” she acknowledged his act of subservience before continuing, “ However I am so disappointed by such a childish outburst, I really thought you had lost your male temper but obviously not. It was an act of petulance more reminiscent of a twelve year old.”

The red face boy could only hang his head in shame at her admonishment.

“I’m very sorry Miss Alice. I should have been more mature.” he repeated and curtsied again hoping this would convince her of his remorse.

“Yes you certainly should have been.” she said, her eyes still burrowing into his soul and continued in a voice which seemed genuinely tinged with sadness “and you were making so much progress. Perhaps I should write to your mother...and seek her advice.”

“Oh no ....Miss Alice ...please not that.” Aubrey blurted griping his skirts even tighter, the thought of his mother discovering the extent ofhis predicament was too much to bear. Anything but that, please.”

“Perhaps I should not have expected you to make the transition to being a young lady so quickly.” she said as she walked around him “maybe I should have taken this a step at a time. I will allow you one more chance to prove that you are truly sorry for your transgression otherwise I will have to inform your mother and let her decide on how we should proceed.”

“Oh.. yes Miss.” he quickly agreed, several strokes of the cane or a hundred lines  would be worth not having his horrible situation disclosed to his mother, after all she had often said he was far too brash and arrogant for his own good and would possibly approve of Lady Charlotte’s  scheme.

“Very well.” Alice said as she rang the bell and almost immediately one of the maids appeared.

Alice spoke to her quietly and then returned to address Aubrey. She began unbuttoning his dress at the nape of his neck. He was surprised but knew better than to question her, she then removed his three petticoats and laid them on the bed as he stood in the centre of the room in his corset and silk pantaloons which ended at his knees in a dainty frill. When Alice dressed and undressed him she always left him for several minutes in a state of dishabille, she found this vulnerability not only concentrated the boy’s mind but it was also a source of mild amusement.

She led him to the bed where Sarah, one of the housemaids, had laid out some clothes, she held up the dress next to him. He was horrified, not only was it the frilliest dress he had ever seen with large bows decorating it from the neck to the waist and had several layers of flounces. It was horrible and as if that wasn’t bad enough it was far too short even he knew that, surely the maid had made some mistake, he looked at his Governess with a perplexed expression.

“Yes it is short.” Alice mused as she continued to hold it against him “but then all twelve year olds wear their dresses this short – and you did act like a twelve year old. I had hoped that I would not have to put you into such a dress but your immature fit of pique left me with no choice.

Aubrey looked at the clothes in disbelief.

She can’t expect me to wear the dress of a twelve year old. he tried desperately to convince himself.

“But... I ...it won’t ....”he stammered, still trying to comprehend his situation.

“It won’t fit?” Alice said anticipating his panicked question “Oh yes I’m afraid it will. You see I predicted at some stage you would revert to those horrible male traits so I had Lady Charlotte alter several of the dresses Miss Felicity’s wore as a child to fit you.”

“Oh...no ....please.... Miss Alice .....please... I promise I will ....”he begged staring at the ultra feminine garment, any dignity he had was now long gone as he saw Sarah, a broad smirk on her face, fluff out the voluminous petticoats.

“If you are going to act like a little girl then you will dress like one.”Alice said calmly not allowing him to finish the sentence as she took the petticoats from Sarah.

He held on firmly to the chair and thought of resisting but his lack of strength meant he could not resist them physically. The idea of running from the room briefly crossed his mind but dressed like this, where would he flee to?

Trapped! Yet again he screamed to himself.

“How.. long....”he gulped realising he had no option but to submit, his hands gripping the chair and hoping his legs would hold him upright “will I have to ....”

“Wear your delightful new dress?” Alice quickly interrupted him as, unconcerned by his obvious distress, she examined the dress more closely “these bows are simply enchanting, don’t you think? Naturally I had them added myself, the dress was far too plain for..... someone as special as you.

Aubrey grimaced as she held the hideous garment up for him to inspect.

“As to how long you will wear it, I haven’t made up my mind. It could be a day or two” she continued in her calm voice “then again you may require a little longer to understand what exactly is required to reach the required level of femininity, maybe a week or two. It will depend entirely on how quickly you learn your lesson and rid yourself of that petulant masculine behaviour. Oh by the way this dress is one of several charming creations I have commissioned.”

Two weeks in...... that he howled inside his head, he felt his legs buckle. Alice and Sarah quickly came to his aid.

“I wonder which one of his new dresses he will like best Miss Alice.” the maid gushed enthusiastically as they escorted him to the bed.

“I don’t know Sarah.” Alice replied “he will have plenty of time to think about it while he plays with his dolls. Now come along Aubrey your new dress awaits.”