Below is Chapter 16.
At
the end of Chapter 15 Aubrey had finally left Mrs Cockshott’s home accompanied
by Lady Charlotte, I thought I had a clear idea of how his story would unfold
but Lady Charlotte had a different view and as always she dictates what
direction his life will take. And like Aubrey- I am in no position to oppose
such a formidable presence.
I am not happy with this chapter’s ending
but to finish it the way I had envisaged readers would have to wait another few
weeks and that would be far too long between chapters and would no doubt try your
patience.
Unfortunately I could only manage to do one
illustration- as usual time is an issue but in lieu I re-fashioned an old captioned
piece for the header to the blog.
Many thanks as usual to those who commented
and who ticked the ‘more box’ your support is very much appreciated.
The illustration is at the end of the chapter for reasons that will become obvious.
Anyway here we go again. I hope you enjoy
it.
Take care.
Carrie
A Very Victorian Education
By
By
CarrieP
Chapter 16
Chapter 16
The
fashionably dressed people passing the Belgravia home of the Mrs Leonora Cockshott’s acknowledged the
presence of the elegant middle aged matron and her younger companion on the
steps of the imposing residence. Their salutations were returned by the older
woman in the time honoured way with a discreet nod of the head, a number of the
ladies could not help noticing the pallor on the face of the younger person.
However such a complexion in a young lady was not unusual and could be
attributed to any number of things. A corset laced too tightly by an over eager
maid, ‘women’s problems’ perhaps, or it may even have been as a result
of a physical chastisement by a
governess . These were the usual reasons but none of passers-by could have
guessed the real cause of this young lady’s pale countenance.
Indeed the exquisitely dressed Lady
Charlotte de Winter who held her companion’s hand firmly in hers was only one
of a handful of women who knew the reason why the delicate figure in the
stylish dress looked as pale as she did – for ‘she’ was in fact a young man,
Aubrey St Clair the son of her good friend the Honourable Mrs Maude St. Clair.
Despite wearing feminine clothing for several months the young man had only
once before appeared in public when he was escorted by one of Lady Charlotte’s
maids to Mrs Cockshott’s home earlier that day. As if this was not enough of a
traumatic experience what awaited him in Mrs Cockshott’s home was even more distressing,
for he was pressed into service as maid to Roberta, Mrs Cockshott’s daughter who,
unaware of his true sex, was physically attracted to him. He knew it would only
have been a matter of time before she would have discovered his secret and
although flattered by her attentions he was nonetheless greatly relieved to
leave her presence. However the prospect of once more being paraded in public
terrified him.
“Try not to look so bewildered Aubrey.”
Lady Charlotte addressed the young man as she pulled on her kid gloves and
smiled at yet another brace of ladies who passed the steps where they stood.
“Such an expression is so unbecoming in a young lady, you will only succeed in
drawing attention to yourself. Now come along it’s a splendid evening for a
walk.”
“Can we not hail a hansom cab?” Aubrey
mumbled, gently trying to break free from her grip and at the same time
attempting to avoid the smiles of the ladies passing “People will know I’m not
a girl.”
“Nonsense!”
Lady Charlotte snorted derisively, dismissing his suggestion outright “You
look charming and as we have seen you walk with the gracefulness of a young
lady of breeding. Now straighten your back and come along like a good girl”
Lady Charlotte’s grip on him tightened and lifting
her skirts with one hand she looked directly into his eyes. Her gaze told Aubrey
a cab was out of the question and unless he wanted a tongue lashing he had
little option but to obey her. Lady
Charlotte remark proved to be correct. Of course he hated wearing such cumbersome
and restrictive feminine clothing it had become second nature and without
giving it a second thought he expertly raised his own skirts and in unison they
descended the stone steps. Standing on the pavement Aubrey felt like he was
five years old again in the grip of his overbearing but extremely protective
Nanny. It was the stuff of nightmares but one he was living for the past
several months.
As two young ladies approached Aubrey felt
a familiar panic rise within him and he gripped Lady Charlotte’s hand tightly.
She turned to him and smiled, it was a smile of satisfaction that told him he
was now firmly back under her authority and she could expose him too ridicule
at any time she choose. He instantly realised just how totally dependent on her
he was, not unlike his five year old self kept strictly under his Nanny’s
control. As they got closer Aubrey’s heart began to quicken and he turned to
the older woman.
“Oh… Lady Charlotte I know these girls.” he
croaked, the panic rising inside “they will recognise me instantly.”
The
two young women smiled at Lady Charlotte and despite his best efforts to avoid
their gaze they managed to catch his eye.
“Pardon us, Lady Charlotte” The girl in the
green dress addressed Lady Charlotte “we were just admiring this young lady’s
delightful gown.”
Aubrey grip on Lady Charlotte tightened
once more and he moved even closer to her. Sensing his fear she stood slightly
in front of him her wide skirts shielding him from any perceived threat. She
squeezed his hand to reassure him of her protection, her face took on a look of
regal hauteur as she raised her lorgnette to examine the young women more
closely.
“You are Delphine Bonnington’s girl?” Lady
Charlotte declared in her most imperious voice as she cast her eyes over the
young woman with a gaze of such authority that would have brought a smile to
the face of a sergeant major in the Household Cavalry.
“Yes your ladyship. Amelia Bonnington.” she
mumbled and clearly unnerved by the matron in front of her she gave a
respectful curtsy “And this is my good friend Edwina Carrington.”
The other girl repeated the gesture.
“Ah Evelyn Carrington’s youngest daughter,
I know both your mothers extremely well, we dine together quite often during
the season.” Lady Charlotte said as she inspected Miss Edwina Carrington from head
to toe with the same rigour.
Aubrey could see that the confidence both
young women displayed just moments ago had ebbed away, they now looked like
schoolgirls in front of their strict headmistress and observing their demeanour
he felt his anxiety retreat a little.
“Don’t slouch ladies.” Lady Charlotte rebuked
them sharply as she tapped Amelia on the shoulder wither her walking cane.
Suitably admonished both young women
answered in unison.
“Yes your ladyship, sorry your ladyship.”
“Much better.” Lady Charlotte acknowledged
their deference with a nod, Aubrey could see both girls were clearly
intimidated by his protector and his fear subsided a little more knowing Lady Charlotte would ensure he was not exposed.
However he also knew he would have to play his part and fully inhabit the
feminine role she had created for him.
“Young
girls these days seem to have such poor posture. Both of you really should be
more tightly corseted.” Lady Charlotte snapped as both young women’s eyes
sheepishly fell to the ground “I suspect you probably cajoled or bribed your
maids into loosening your laces. I should really speak to your mothers about
it. As any good girl knows a long tight corset not only promotes good posture
and discipline as well as moral rectitude. Isn’t that so my dear?”
She squeezed his hand.
“Oh yes Lady Charlotte.”Aubrey answered as enthusiastically
as he could.
“And gives one such a wonderful feminine
shape.” Lady Charlotte continued.
Aubrey instinctively knew what was required
of him.
“Yes Lady Charlotte.” Aubrey replied with an
eagerness that surprised even him and could not believe the words that then
came out of his mouth “It does wonders for my figure.”
Aubrey could see that Lady Charlotte
approved of such enthusiastic conviction and then launched into a lecture on
the subject which Aubrey could see clearly alarmed both young women. She then
returned to Amelia’s original question as she fingered the material of Aubrey
dress,
“Yes his dress is most becoming, I quite
like the material.”
His heart skipped as he heard the male
possessive pronoun but both young women were so overawed and browbeaten by Lady
Charlotte’s commanding personality he wasn’t sure they even heard the word or
indeed anything that came after it.
“Is… is…“ Amelia stammered timidly still
reeling from Lady Charlotte’s forceful remarks “… this your daughter?”
“Certainly not.” Lady Charlotte snorted and
turned to Aubrey, her eyes transmitting a message of calm “this is my ward
Aubrey, she is staying with me until her mother returns from abroad.”
Lady Charlotte gently tugged on Aubrey hand
and added in a light hearted manner,
“Although I am like a mother to her, isn’t
that so Aubrey?”
“Yes, Lady Charlotte.” he said in a low
voice.
“Aubrey my dear, you are forgetting your
manners.” Lady Charlotte said gesturing towards the young women.
“Pleased to meet you.” Aubrey said offering
his free right hand to Edwina and then to Amelia.
“Aubrey? Aubrey?” Edwina repeated
quizzically and regarded him a little too intently for Aubrey’s liking “Have we
met before, your face is familiar.”
He remained silent, afraid to open his
mouth.
“Perhaps
Lady’s Day at Royal Ascot last year?” she persisted.
“Umm…I…” he stammered his unease returning
and squeezed Lady Charlotte’s intensely.
Lady Charlotte glanced at him and noting
his unease merely smiled but did not interject.
“I think it may have been at the charity
event organised by the Duchess of Devonshire for the Sapphic Society.” Amelia
suggested helpfully and stepped a little closer to him “I recall a young girl
wearing a beautiful Worth creation in the most delicate shade of pink taffeta.
She had such unusual features, very striking. The similarity is extraordinary.”
“Oh yes I remember now.” Edwina almost
squealed with excitement “she had such an unusual countenance, very attractive
but not in the traditional feminine sense, almost mas…”
“Yes, that’s the girl I was referring to.”
Amelia agreed excitedly interrupting her friend.
“I very much doubt it.” Lady Charlotte
intervened pouring cold water on their recollections “Aubrey is such a delicate
creature and very shy, she rarely ventures out unaccompanied by either myself
or her Governess. Although now that I think of it I’m sure the Duchess would
like to meet her, I must make a note of that.”
“I think the name is confusing you Edwina.”
Amelia addressed her companion but her eyes remained on Aubrey “We don’t know
any girls with that name, the only Aubrey we know is that ghastly boy Aubrey St
Clair.”
Edwina looked at Aubrey with a curious
expression, he felt his knees weaken.
“Mmm…perhaps.” Edwina replied sounding
unconvinced and after a moment that Aubrey thought lasted an hour she added “I
suppose it would be foolish to confuse that dreadful boy with such an elegant
and sweet girl.”
“Oh I don’t know Edwina.” Amelia said “Some
boys can look quite feminine in a dress. Do you remember that play Lady
Martinet put on a few years ago; we were no more than fourteen or fifteen. That
dreadful boy had a small part, I can still recall how extremely conceited and
utterly contemptuous he was of us girls. He was infuriating.”
“Oh
I had almost forgotten, Amelia.” Edwina interrupted her friend “One of the girl’s
became ill and Lady Martinet insisted as he was the same size he should assume
her role.”
“Yes.” Amelia said “she has such a
commanding presence he was petrified and quite unable to refuse. I still
remember the look on his face as she marched him off to be put into a dress.”
Aubrey felt his legs wobble slightly at the
mention of that horrible day, this was the second time in a few hours that he
was forced to relive the worst experience of his life- until recently that is-
that ghastly and extremely humiliating experience at the hands of Lady Martinet
had now become an everyday occurrence.
He leaned into Lady Charlotte for support.
“Oh I’m sorry Lady Charlotte.” Edwina said
“we are rambling.”
“Not at all my dear.” Lady Charlotte
replied, her tone much softer now as her interest piqued, she glanced at Aubrey
before adding “We would love to hear more, isn’t that right Aubrey?”
He hesitated not wishing to hear the
account of his humiliation in front of these girls however a sharp tug on his
hand was enough to ensure he gave the correct response.
“Oh yes.” he croaked weakly.
“Pray continue.” Lady Charlotte said
gesturing her to resume her story.
“Yes a beautiful pink satin gown if I
recall correctly.”” Amelia enthusiastically resumed her recollections and
smiled at the memory “I was so jealous, it really was exquisite with deep
pleats, dainty puffed sleeves and a large bow at the back.”
“But it fitted him wonderfully, almost as
if it was made for him. And then…the pièce de résistance” Edwina giggled. “Lady Martinet insisted he wear a corset and
petticoats to ensure he looked the part.
“And did he?” Lady Charlotte asked, a smile
forming at the corner of her mouth.
Aubrey let out a barely audible groan at
the memory.
“Oh yes Lady Charlotte. He had no choice
Lady Martinet was quite adamant I doubt if the Lord of the Admiralty himself
would have had the courage to refuse her.” Amelia chortled “The corset gave him
a most feminine figure and after Lady Martinet applied some face powder and lip
colouring his appearance took on a decidedly girlish aspect. In fact he looked prettier
than some of the girls, much to their annoyance I should add.”
Aubrey felt Lady Charlotte squeeze his hand
at the mention of this humiliating recollection. Her joy was apparent.
“How delightful, he sounds simply divine”
Lady Charlotte gushed tightening her grip on his hand.
“Oh he was Lady Charlotte.” Edwina said
“but he was quite upset about his transformation and cried uncontrollably.”
“Just like a girl!” Lady Charlotte
exclaimed with such glee that Aubrey winced.
“Just like one of the junior girls at
school.” Amelia laughed “of course we all gathered around him and with straight
faces pretended to console him, which was extremely difficult as obviously we
were all greatly amused by his predicament. However we somehow managed to give
him the impression we were very sympathetic to his plight.”
“Oh Edwina, I really do not know how we
managed to contain ourselves.” Amelia giggled “Then we told him how brave he
was and how dressing in such an exquisite gown it was such a gallant gesture.”
“And just as he stopped crying.” Edwina
said and had to stifle a giggle as she recalled “one of the girls said he
looked so pretty he reminded her of the actress Lillie Langtry. Of course he
started blubbering again.”
Both girls chuckled at the memory.
Aubrey could feel the blood rush to his
cheeks as he listened to this account of this shameful event.
“Oh you naughty girls, you were very cruel
to the poor boy.” Lady Charlotte, unable to suppress her mirth gently
admonished them.
“But he was very pretty in an
unconventional way.” Edwina conceded after she had composed herself and glanced
once more at Aubrey with a look that he found alarming “in fact he looked
remarkably like your ward here.”
“I do hope you are not suggesting my Aubrey
looks in any way masculine.”Lady Charlotte retorted in a defensive tone pushing
her shoulders back and her ample bosom out as she glared at the two young
women.
“Oh no your ladyship.” Edwina replied
apologetically. “I think we may have given you the wrong impression, Aubrey St
Clair although male and displaying the arrogance and pomposity of that sex has
exquisitely feminine features with little trace of masculinity.”
Aubrey felt a sudden urge to scream at her
but he knew the merest hint of annoyance would expose him.
“Yes Lady Charlotte.” Amelia added trying
to placate Lady Charlotte’s obvious chagrin “He has almost chameleon like
qualities, once in a dress he was quite feminine and very pretty, apart from his
gestures and movement of course which were distinctly male.”
Both looked at Aubrey, who despite the consternation
in his brain was trying to project his most sweetly feminine facial expression.
“Of course your ward Aubrey is
extremely feminine.” Edwina said in a tone that tried to moderate Lady
Charlotte’s mood but Aubrey thought he detected the merest hint of scepticism
in her voice and a disturbing penetrative look in her eyes.
However he could also see that if they did
indeed harbour doubts about him they were not willing to pursue them and for
the present were content to view him as a female.
“We
are on our way to a Daughters of Lesbos meeting.” Amelia said with a view to
changing the uncomfortable topic of his facial features and beamed at him in a
most friendly way “perhaps Aubrey would like to accompany us, we promise you
Lady Charlotte we will take very good care of her and I’m sure we will become
the best of friends.”
“That will not be necessary.” a voice from
behind them said.
Lady
Charlotte turned around to find Roberta looking slightly agitated and ill at
ease as she arranged her unfamiliar skirts around her.
“What
a pleasant surprise.” Lady Charlotte said apparently unfazed by Roberta’s
unannounced appearance.
“Roberta?” Edwina blurted in amazement
as she turned her attention to the newcomer unable to contain her surprise “Roberta
Cockshott… in a dress!”
“And corsets!” Amelia blurted in
astonishment as she gestured to Roberta’s constricted waist.
Aubrey didn’t know whether to feel relieved
or alarmed by Roberta’s sudden arrival but nonetheless welcomed her unexpected
entrance onto the scene as it had the effect of deflecting their unwelcome scrutiny
from him. It was obvious to him that the three young women knew each other.
Roberta acknowledged them with a cursory nod,
ignored their obvious glee at her feminine clothing and moved closer to Aubrey linking
her arm with his.
“I am accompanying Lady Charlotte and
Aubrey to an event later this evening.” Robert said sniffily by way of an
explanation of her feminine clothing.
Aubrey could tell that despite her haughty
manner she was very uncomfortable both mentally and physically in her new
attire.
“It must be a very special event to get you
laced into a corset and wearing petticoats.” Edwina replied with a smirk on her
face.
“And such a fashionable dress.” Amelia said
moving closer to finger the silk material. “It must be two years since I last
saw you in feminine attire. You really do look the picture of elegance, your
dear mother must be so pleased.”
“So you are joining us after all Roberta.”
Lady Charlotte said “How delightful.”
Roberta made an admirable attempt to smile
indicating her agreement but Aubrey could detect her discomfort.
“We really must be on our way. Aubrey is
quite tired and needs to rest.” Roberta said curtly “Isn’t that so Lady
Charlotte?”
“Yes.” Lady Charlotte smiled “I suppose she
is. Perhaps you can come for afternoon tea sometime I would like to hear more
of young St Clair’s brief spell as a girl.”
“We would be delighted.” Edwina, clearly
thrilled, answered for both.
“Come along Aubrey.” Lady Charlotte said as
she began to move away “Good day ladies.”
As both young women curtsied to Lady
Charlotte Aubrey was escorted away between his formidable female companions.
“So you are accompanying me to an event
later?” Lady Charlotte said repeating her earlier fabrication and glanced at
Aubrey before adding sardonically “I wonder what we shall wear Aubrey?”
“I had to say something to get away from
those dreadful girls.” Roberta answered as she tramped inelegantly alongside
Aubrey struggling with her petticoats and heeled boots.
“Please try to maintain some form of
feminine decorum Roberta.” Lady Charlotte said softly as she nodded to two
ladies passing by “You are walking with all the poise of a ploughman, try to
walk in unison with Aubrey’s graceful step.”
“It’s these ghastly petticoats and skirts.”
Roberta replied in an exasperated voice. “I’d forgotten just how awful they
are.”
“Nonsense.” Lady Charlotte snapped as she
stopped abruptly and looked at Aubrey. “Petticoats, corsets and skirts are the
very essence of femininity. You do not mind wearing them, do you Aubrey?”
Aubrey felt no squeeze on his hand this
time and instinctively knew Lady Charlotte was testing him. Not only would he
have to agree with her but enthusiastically endorse her assertion, anything
less would surely incur her displeasure and he knew what that would entail. A
vigorous thrashing at the hands of Alice, his Governess.
He was also aware that both Lady Charlotte
and Mrs Cockshott wanted Roberta permanently back in appropriate feminine
clothing and since he had become aware of this he harboured the hope that Lady
Charlotte would concentrate on reforming Roberta and allow him to leave.
However he knew the only way this could be achieved was if she could be
convinced that her horrible regimen had succeeded in imbuing him with feminine
sensibilities. A persuasive and avid affirmation of the desirability, merit and
attraction of wearing feminine frills and flounces would surely go a long way
to assure Lady Charlotte of his surrender to her will. It was an appalling
position for a young man to find himself in but he knew he had little choice.
Suddenly a vision of Lady Charlotte presenting him with his male clothes sprang
into his head. It was a wonderful
prospect and he could feel the small green shoots of hope rise inside him. He swallowed what remaining pride he
possessed.
“Oh no, Lady Charlotte.”Aubrey replied eagerly
and added in a restrained but undeniably girlish fashion “A corset gives me
such a wonderful feminine shape and petticoats really do enhance a girl’s
femininity. I would not feel completely dressed without at least three under my
gown.”
If Lady Charlotte saw through this new
found fondness for his feminine underpinnings she did not show it. She seemed
genuinely surprised and extremely pleased with the zeal and apparent honesty of
his response and kissed him tenderly on the cheek before turning her attention
to Roberta.
“What a delightful young lady my dear
Aubrey is turning into.” she said affectionately as she gently patted his
cheek. “You really could learn a lot from her Roberta.”
“Oh I look forward to it, dear godmother.”
Roberta answered in a sweet voice that Aubrey found disturbing.
Lady Charlotte could see that in the few
moments since Roberta had joined them her interest in Aubrey was becoming
increasingly intense.
“Yes I’m sure you do.” Lady Charlotte said
tersely “Now please moderate your step, you are walking like a man in skirts.
Try to imitate Aubrey’s more graceful feminine gait.”
She squeezed his hand once more and he felt
himself blushing with shame. It was
obvious that if any of this triumvirate was to be mistaken as a male it would
be Roberta with her mannish stride and self-evident discomfort with her new
clothes. However he did feel a sense of relief that, unless his suppressed masculine
traits suddenly re-emerged, his secret would be safe. As they made their way
towards her residence Lady Charlotte took the opportunity to reiterate her
condition that Roberta would have to remain in female clothing for the duration
of her stay. Roberta briefly thought about negotiating a more advantageous bargain
but the determined look on Lady Charlotte’s face immediately dissuaded her of
that particular notion.
Now that she had her attention Lady
Charlotte began a lecture on how Roberta should conduct herself for the period
of her visit, it was a seemingly endless list of petty rules that Aubrey as a
reluctant guest of Lady Charlotte knew by heart however he could tell that
Roberta was barely listening. As they
walked along Roberta was glancing in Lady Charlotte’s direction as she
expounded on her subject but her eyes were fixed on his and her arm
occasionally drew him fractionally closer leaving him in no doubt as to her
intentions towards him.
As they strolled along the exclusive
Belgravia streets passers-by acknowledged the presence of this trio attired in
the most elegant of feminine fashions, refined and distinguished gentlemen
raised their hats and expensively dressed ladies nodded in their direction.
However, Aubrey despite his familiarity with the voluminous and constrictive
feminine attire and having successfully passed the inspection of the Misses
Bonnington and Carrington albeit with some trepidation still felt extremely
nervous and his eyes dropped to the ground as people passed. Caught between these two formidable women Aubrey
felt cowed and submissive but he was nevertheless relieved for the protection
they provided. After all, surely no one would suspect a young man to be wearing
ladies clothes as he promenaded through this exclusive and respectable
neighbourhood in broad daylight.
“Aren’t you so glad I decided to join
you?” Roberta whispered to him as Lady Charlotte took a break from her sermon
to inspect a dark grey linen walking ensemble in a shop window. “I’m sure, now
that I’m suitably gussied up in these ghastly clothes, Lady Charlotte will
encourage our relationship.”
He felt decidedly anxious at the prospect
of having to spend several days in her company and experienced a twinge of
unease as she pulled him closer to emphasise her intent.
“I can’t wait until we alone.” she breathed
in a low voice that only served to heighten his anxiety.
“I think something like this would suit you
Roberta.” Lady Charlotte said,
apparently oblivious to Roberta’s murmurings as she pointed to a pink silk
organza with a pleated skirt of tied drapery in the window.
“And
I would say…” Lady Charlotte continued as she surveyed Roberta’s figure with an
expert eye “… that is probably your mother’s corset you are wearing.”
Aubrey took a little comfort from the look
of barely concealed alarm on Roberta’s face and allowed himself a smile.
“I think some new corsetry would not go
amiss.” Lady Charlotte announced “Now that we are here I may as well make an
appointment for you with the corsetiere.”
“But
I…” Roberta began to protest but stopped as she noticed the cautionary look on
Lady Charlotte’s face, she quickly remembered the futile attempt at confronting
Lady Charlotte and her protest petered out under the older woman’s steely gaze..
“And you too Aubrey.” she added with a
degree of exuberance that Aubrey found unsettling. “I want my girls to look and
feel like the society ladies your mothers would e proud of. Now come along
girls.”
The smile immediately disappeared from
Aubrey’s face but Lady Charlotte now appeared to be well disposed towards him
as a result of his enthusiastic embrace of his feminine clothing in front of
two dreadful girls. He had no wish to irritate her and conjured up his sweetest
smile.
“Well at least we are in this together.”
Roberta consoled him as Lady Charlotte led them inside the shop and into what
he took to be an anteroom. A woman appeared almost immediately and had a brief
conversation with Lady Charlotte.
“This way ladies” the woman addressed them gesturing
to large double doors and the end of a long corridor.
Aubrey felt his heart race. What he
imagined lay behind those foreboding doors filled him with dread. Of all the
humiliations he suffered, being laced into a corset was certainly one of the
worst. Every day for months now he had been firmly secured into various types
of corset by Lady Charlotte’s maids, sniggering and giggling as they tugged on
the laces. He hated wearing female clothing but the process wore him down and
he had become used to it however the relentless teasing and ridiculing by the
maids affected him greatly and he could feel his masculinity eroding day by
day. Now he feared he would have to go through this very same torture at the
hands of a different cohort of women. Once again he would be at the mercy of Lady
Charlotte to provide protection. Her habit of occasionally using the male
pronoun when referring to him was a constant cause of anxiety as such
carelessness was sure to invite greater scrutiny. He immediately made a mental
note that he would have to be extra careful and ensure he acted as feminine as
possible and hopefully Roberta’s lack of ladylike qualities and gaucheness would
deflect some of the attention away from him.
As they walked towards the doors the sound
of three sets of rustling petticoats filled the air and looking nervously
around he caught a glimpse of his reflection in one of the many mirrors that
lined the corridor. A demure and timid looking girlish figure looked back at
him. He was not surprised. Much as he hated to admit it, in the time he had been confined in Lady Charlotte’s home
he had acquired a great deal of graceful feminine traits and due to a strict
diet and even stricter corsetry he also achieved quite a shapely female figure.
Another furtive glance confirmed he had a much more attractive silhouette than
Roberta which, for some strange reason he could not explain, both annoyed and
pleased him in equal measure. Aubrey momentarily forgot his degrading attire
and observed Roberta’s ungainly progress alongside him with a degree of
superiority. Next to him her lack of feminine sensibility was glaringly
obvious.
Under Lady Charlotte’s dominating influence
he had come to understand what Roberta had conveniently forgotten.
Even I know a corset and petticoats are a
necessity if a lady wishes to display herself in the best possible light he said to himself repeating one of Lady Charlotte’s expressions, otherwise a woman would merelylook like a
sack of potatoes in a dress.
He was only too well aware that it was this
feminine silhouette that kept his shameful secret safe and saved him from being
exposed to the ridicule of those he had come into contact with earlier that
day. What he did not wish to admit to- and which no doubt contributed to this
bizarre charade he was forced to take part in – was that he possessed a face
that was quite delicate with no hint of facial hair and not overly burdened by
strong masculine features. As a red blooded young male this was a constant
source of discontent but even he had to grudgingly concede that dressed as he
now was, such a visage was a blessing in disguise.
They were ushered deeper into the building
to a spacious area with large comfortable couches dotted around the room on
which middle aged matrons spoke to each other in hushed tones while all around
them other ladies and younger women in various states of undress were
inspecting each other’s corsets and other undergarments. He was sure no male
had ever witnessed such a scene- until now.
This tableau of oppressive femininity
instantly unnerved him and his anxiety levels rose once more.
Nodding her acknowledgement to ladies as
they passed Lady Charlotte noticed his nervousness, she whispered in his ear.
“Stay calm. You are dressed like a girl,
you move like a girl. You look like a girl. Now be that girl”
There
was no escape and as he stood alongside Roberta his hand still firmly in her
grip Aubrey’s eyes took in the scene. Women he assumed were the staff, dressed
in dark navy dressed and obviously well corseted flitted about the large
interior carrying boxes to and from several groups of elegantly dressed women.
The air was perfumed but not overly so with a distinctly feminine floral scent.
“Lady Charlotte.” a middle aged woman
trilled as she approached them “what a pleasant surprise.” And as she looked at
her companions she smiled knowingly “I assume you wish to make an appointment
for these two charming girls to be measured and fitted.”
“Yes Madame Monique.” Lady Charlotte
replied “So nice to see you again.”
Lady Charlotte left Aubrey and Roberta and
joined Madame Monique.
As they spoke Aubrey saw the woman eyes
inspect him from head to toe before turning to Roberta. A smile appeared on her
face as the conversation continued.
“I detest these establishments and the dreadful
garments they make.” Roberta sighed wearily as she looked around at several
ladies examining corsets, this sight was so repugnant to her Aubrey noticed her
squirming in her own corset. So Lady Charlotte would not hear she whispered to
him in a frustrated voice “How do you wear such a ghastly thing from morning to
night, day after day, week after week?”
Aubrey wanted to say that while he did not
like it wearing a corset it was not the worst thing that he had to endure in
the past few months, but held his tongue.
“You do realise I am only doing this to
placate Lady Charlotte so she will allow me to get to know you better.” she
said before adding in a quiet voice. “I quite like you. You have great
potential and could be very useful to me.”
Aubrey wasn’t sure exactly what she meant
by ‘potential’ or ‘useful’ and was afraid to ask but knew whatever it was it
could not be good for him and although
further unnerved by this conversation he felt he had to acknowledge her
interest in him. He smiled sweetly as she continued,
“Lady Charlotte is my godmother and a
wonderful woman and she is obviously very protective of you but I’m sure you
would like to taste a little freedom.”
He did not need to answer, his eyes glazed
over at the mention of being free from Lady Charlotte and as he was about to
deliver his reply Lady Charlotte’s voice rang out.
“Come here girls.” she called from several
feet away.
“Unfortunately Madame Monique is extremely
busy at the moment and can only measure one of you today.” Lady Charlotte said
as they stood in front of her she smiled at Roberta who took a step backwards.
“Come along my dear. I won’t hurt you, your
little friend can help undress you” Madame Monique said softly and exchanging a
glance with Lady Charlotte she added with a knowing grin “I believe she has
experience as a lady’s maid.”
Aubrey noticed that both women exchanged
subtle yet perceptible glances, Lady Charlotte had obviously told this woman
about the circumstances of his brief stay at Mrs Cockshott’s.
This
woman is looking at me in a most peculiar way, he
anxiously thought to himself as another horrible thought entered his mind. What else did she tell her?
The look on Madame Monique’s face disturbed
Aubrey, he glanced at Lady Charlotte who smiled back at him in a most enigmatic
way. He was already extremely anxious but Madame Monique’s comment and Lady
Charlotte’s reaction did nothing to dispel his growing apprehension.
Lady Charlotte and Madame Monique took up a
position on either side of Roberta and with their hands on her arms moved her
into a room cordoned off with heavy velvet curtains.
“Come along Aubrey.” Lady Charlotte said
“Your assistance will be required.”
Both women chatted as Aubrey began
unbuttoning Roberta’s dress.
“She is quite adept at this task.” Madame
Monique observed as she watched him expertly and without fumbling unfasten the
small cloth buttons “Such nimble fingers for a…”
Aubrey listening to the conversation
stopped his task as she paused to deliver the next word.
“Yes her fingers are quite deft.” Lady
Charlotte interrupted the corsetiere. “Please continue Aubrey.”
In a matter of minutes he had unbuttoned
the dress as expertly as any girl and as Roberta stood motionless he drew the
sleeves down her arms exposing her corset.
“Now
remove the entire gown.” Madame Monique said as an assistant entered and
whispered in her ear.
Aubrey silently obeyed and as she stepped
out of the gown he could see the look of vulnerability on Roberta’s face, he
could not help but give Roberta an empathic smile which she acknowledged with a
weak smile of her own.
“Madam will have to measure Roberta sans corset.” Lady Charlotte instructed
Aubrey “Please remove it.”
As both women watched from comfortable
armchairs Aubrey untied the double bow on the laces and expertly began unlacing
Roberta, he heard her sigh with relief as the stays were loosened. He folded
the corset and laid it on top of her gown.
“As Lady Charlotte is an old friend I have
asked my assistant to take care of my next appointment.” Madame Monique
addressed Aubrey “Which means I can fit you in also my dear.”
Aubrey looked at Lady Charlotte trying
desperately to hide the panic he felt. He did not know what this would entail
but knew instinctively it had the potential to expose him as a male. Surely
Lady Charlotte knew this and if allowed to proceed Madame Monique would without
doubt discover his true sex. He felt the
blood drain from his face.
“I… I…I don’t think I really need a new
corset.” he spluttered, eyes pleading with Lady Charlotte “The ones I have fit
me perfectly.”
“Yes I know my dear, but they are mine.”
Lady Charlotte replied casually as she smoothed out an imaginary wrinkle in the
skirt of her gown “Every girl should have her own complete set of corsetry,
ones for day and evening wear and perhaps even for riding, for when you spend
weekends in the country.”
“Some mothers even have asked me to make night
corsets.” Madame Monique interjected “Although I think those are for extremely
disobedient girls.”
She looked at Aubrey with her large grey
eyes and paused before adding with a smile that disturbed him,
“But I’m sure you arenot that
kind of girl.”
“Oh no Madame.” he croaked the saliva
having suddenly deserted his mouth and for some strange reason he could not understand,
he curtsied.
“As you can see Madame,” Lady Charlotte
said with what Aubrey thought was a hint of pride in her voice before
addressing him in a reassuring tone “she is an extremely well trained girl. Now
come along Aubrey, Madame won’t bite you.”
She took him by the hand and led him over
to the matronly figure of Madame Monique.
“I fear Roberta may not be as expert as you
in undressing a girl.” she said as she glanced at Roberta who was looking
extremely subdued standing in only her chemise and petticoats. “I think it best
if Madame Monique undresses you.”
“But…” Aubrey tried to protest.
“Hush my dear.” Lady Charlotte said “Madame
Monique is very used to dealing with girls like you.”
Aubrey looked at Lady Charlotte in horror
at her words but the older woman merely smiled as she belatedly added,
“And girls like Roberta of course. So there
is no need to be afraid.”
Aubrey looked at Madame Monique who was now
standing next to Lady Charlotte, she gave him a reassuring smile which did not
achieve its purpose. He felt the knot in his stomach tighten another notch.
“Why don’t you turn around my dear and let
me undo your buttons.” she said in a comforting voice.
He tried to hide the panic welling up
inside and once more looked pleadingly to Lady Charlotte as Madame Monique
opened the top button at the nape of his neck.
““There is no need to be shy, my dear.”
Madame Monique said softly as she continued to unbutton his dress “After all, we
are all women here, are we not?”
Aubrey flinched as he felt the buttons
being undone and the heavy fabric of the dress being loosened.
As Madame Monique busied herself pulling
his dress down over his petticoats she repeated the words.
“Yes. Only women are allowed into this
establishment.”
Aubrey let out a low whimper.
