A Very Victorian Education Chapter 28 - The Conclusion with Illustration

Finally I have been able to keep my promise of completing the story- your story.

As I have said on numerous occasions if it wasn’t for the support given by readers Aubrey’s journey would have ended a long time ago. I had forgotten just how long ago it started, the first chapter was posted 23^rd Feb 2016 and it remains a constant source of amazement to me that readers have shown such patience in continuing to follow our hero’s sojourn. And it has been long, much longer than I had intended.

So 27 chapters and approx 150k words later we come to the end.

As always- and I’ve bored you with this many times before but it is very important to me-  I’d like to express my gratitude to everyone who, from start to finish, ticked the ‘more’ box and especially to those readers who took the time and trouble to comment and share their views. I spent a lot of hours (far too many) writing and rewriting and to know that people have appreciated the story made the effort and considerable time that went into it more than worthwhile. Your support was a constant source not only of motivation but also inspiration.

Having said all that I suspect the interest in the story (possibly with the exception of the last chapter) has understandably been waning and that’s probably also true for some of the other stories. Time to consider my position I think. Perhaps Neil Young put it best ‘Better to burn out than fade away.’

 At this stage it’s probably best if I go off line for several weeks and do some thinking so if there are any comments on the story please don’t think it disrespectful if I don’t respond for a while.

This chapter comes with a health warning – it is the longest yet at just over 10k words, that’s about 25 Word pages. Hopefully you won’t fall asleep reading it.

 Endings are hard so I’ll keep my fingers crossed in the hope that you are not disappointed.

Take care of yourselves, family and friends and stay safe.

Carrie

A Very Victorian Education

By

CarrieP

Chapter 28 – The Conclusion.

 

M

ost young men have found themselves at one time or another having to confront difficult situations, perhaps it could be referred to as the horns of a dilemma, between a rock and a hard place or maybe the lesser of two evils. Whatever phrase one may wish to use the young man’s quandary remains and at some stage he will eventually have to choose one from a menu of very limited and mostly unpalatable options. Whatever his choice there will be consequences and the best he can hope for is his situation does not get any worse than it already is. Of course some of these predicaments are more serious than others but very few young men have found themselves in the dreadful plight that befell the youth, Aubrey St Clair.

After a very brief interlude where he was allowed to wear male clothing he was once more forced to don feminine attire and take on the role of a girl to avoid a perceived threat of incarceration in St Jude’s Finishing School for Young Ladies. To keep the secret of his true sex from the pupils and staff young Master St. Clair now found himself dependent on the whims of the Honourable Miss Bella Martinet. This young lady was a capricious and domineering girl who witnessed him being dressed as a girl for a performance of a play several years previously and was now holding this over his head to ensure his subservience. It was now obvious to Aubrey that this event had fascinated and entranced Bella and she harboured hope of re-enacting a similar scene at some future stage.

Her time had now arrived and she took full advantage of Aubrey’s plight.

Aubrey immediately recognised he was now at her mercy. Revealing him as a male would ruin him and make him the laughing stock of London society, a fate every young man would do anything in his power to avoid. And Aubrey St. Clair was no exception. Needing her to navigate the dangerous waters of an afternoon with her fellow pupils he decided the best strategy was the tried and trusted one of keeping your friends close but your enemies closer. This could be done, he surmised, by meeting or even exceeding her expectations of him being dressed as a girl, by appeasing her she would ensure his secret would be protected.  He did this by suggesting to her that had he come under her and her mother’s influence several years earlier he would have avoided the pitfalls of a typical male existence and become a better person. Naturally he did not mean a word of this but it was a necessary ruse for his strategy to succeed. As distasteful as it sounded he felt if he fully embraced the feminine role forced on him and credited Bella for finally allowing him to see the light she would be much better disposed towards him.

Of course this posed a moral dilemma. He would have to choose between voluntarily transforming himself into the soft feminine girlish figure Bella envisioned him as, thus ensuring her continuing protection. Or he could remain true to his masculinity and under duress and with great reluctance continue to play the role foisted upon him.   

However now sitting on a sofa tightly corseted and in a beautiful gown of silk and lace with an audience of attentive and curious girls in front of him, this particular moral dilemma did not take long to resolve. If he was to survive with his shameful secret intact he could not allow himself the luxury of standing on principle.

His life under Lady Charlotte’s feminising regimen had taught him valuable lessons regarding endearing himself to female authority figures which, much to his chagrin, Bella now was. Deference and submissiveness were expected and if these qualities were regarded as genuine he would be rewarded with warmth and affection. It took him a long time to perfect the ability to portray a natural subservience and docility and by now it was almost second nature. He had just used these very same attributes on Bella and he could tell from her expression that she believed he was quite content to accept his fate as a feminised male. However there were times he worried these traits were becoming a little too ingrained in his personality. But he could not concern himself about that now. He had a role to play, a character to inhabit and his future depended on it.

He would have to become the girl Bella wanted him to be.

“Oh Aubrey I’m so delighted you have finally seen the error of your ways.” Bella babbled in an excited but low voice as Miss Mellon, St Jude’s Etiquette mistress, directed various girls in rearranging furniture to accommodate the formal correction of two pupils. These unfortunate girls were acting as maids as part of their education and had accumulated enough demerits to warrant punishment.

Aubrey produced one of his most innocent smiles but said nothing.

“I just knew you were not like other boys.” she continued. “You may have acted like them but you were far too pretty and mother said if you were given the opportunity, even if you didn’t recognise it at the time, you could change.”

“Such a pity I left for boarding school.” he lied, easing himself into his role.

“That doesn’t matter now.” Bella beamed “When mother hears she will be most pleased she was always extremely fond of you and knew you were deep down a decent and worthy boy.”

The satisfied look on Bella’s face on hearing his confession confirmed to Aubrey that his plan was working. Although relieved he was nevertheless more than a little perturbed at the mention of her mother but he could not allow himself to worry about that now. He was also keenly aware of how fickle and unreasonable the female sex could be and knew only total commitment would ensure his strategy’s success.

He smiled and made a point of ensuring she noticed how he smoothed out an imaginary wrinkle on the skirt of his dress. It was just one of the many feminine mannerisms he had absorbed from months of living with Lady Charlotte and he could clearly see it impressed Bella.

“Oh I think we are going to be the best of friends Aubrey.” she said affectionately and squeezing his hand.

They both stood as the striking figure of the Countess and Miss Mellon approached and waited for the older women to sit before they themselves sat.

An armchair had been placed in the centre of the room and two maids in pristine uniforms stood nearby waiting nervously with their hands clasped in front of them.  

“As you know dear Countess,” Miss Mellon began “St Jude’s prides itself on the highest standards and strives to instil these in our pupils. However every now and then a girl may fall short of these and thus requires a little reminder.”

“Discipline must be maintained.” the Countess said in a tone that confirmed what Aubrey had already guessed.

The Countess, like Lady Charlotte, was a firm believer in chastisement as a method of improving those under their authority.

“Exactly Countess, I think it may be instructive for yourself,” Miss Mellon replied and looked in Aubrey’s direction before continuing “and young Aubrey to observe one of the ways St Jude’s encourages our pupils to strive for perfection. As Head Girl, Bella usually carries out the procedure.”

Bella smiled smugly, rose from the sofa and approached the two girls who both curtsied to her.

“Girls this is the third time this month you have had more than five demerits.” Bella admonished them in a tone that Aubrey thought more disappointed than angry.

“So sorry, Miss Bella.” each of them answered sheepishly with their eyes cast downwards.

“I’m afraid apologising will not suffice, girls.” Bella said reading from a piece of paper Miss Mellon had given her “Just look at these demerits, loitering in the library when you should have been dusting, late for your morning duties, failing to curtsy on several occasions are only some amongst various other transgressions. Not to mention the clumsiness just shown in front of our esteemed guests.”

Bella sighed as the two girls muttered another apology.

“I don’t understand why you have not learnt from your previous mistakes.” she lamented “You are good, intelligent girls, it’s almost as if you want to be punished.”

“Oh no, Miss Bella.” they both blurted in unison but Aubrey, who under Lady Charlotte, had himself been in their position thought their protest somewhat feeble and lacking in any conviction.

“Oh well,” Bella said in a slightly exasperated voice “We had better get on with it. You know the position to take by now.”

There was a barely suppressed ripple of excitement from the assembled girls and Aubrey noticed the Countess and Miss Mellon move to the edge of their seats.

“If I could make a suggestion Miss Mellon?” Bella said and after receiving permission she continued “As our guest, and also being the recipient of Meadows awkwardness, perhaps Aubrey would like to assist me. A second chair could be placed adjacent to the first and we could administer the punishment simultaneously.”

Aubrey was appalled by the idea. He had received too many canings from Alice, his Governess, not to mention at boarding school to wish to inflict pain and humiliation on someone he did not know. But as was usual since he had come to be dressed as a girl- no one asked his opinion. He was expected to comply with the wishes of those in authority.

“A wonderful idea.” Miss Mellon said excitedly “If you allow it of course, Countess.”

“Certainly.” the Countess replied wistfully and Aubrey could see through her well disguised smile that she herself would have only been too delighted to have been asked to perform the task.

“Splendid!” Miss Mellon trilled “Have the chairs arranged so that the Countess and I can see the miscreants’ faces as they receive their just rewards. Arrange mirrors behind you so the Countess can see the procedure from…” she gave a little laugh “the rear.”

Bella beckoned to Aubrey and knowing he had no choice in the matter he reluctantly arose from the sofa and skirts rustling made his way to her side as several girls positioned mirrors not only behind the victims but also in front of them so Aubrey and Bella could see their faces’ also. Without being told the two maids raised their skirts over their hips and bent over the deep cushioned velvet backs of the chairs, exposing their knee length white silk bloomers stretched tightly over their wide plump buttocks.

Bella picked up two oblong wooden paddles, each about ten inches wide with long leather handles and as she handed him one she whispered in his ear,

“Think of this as a little gift from me.”

She positioned herself to the side of one of the girls and directed Aubrey to take up his station opposite her. He knew that despite his reservations about taking part in this punishment that in order to please Bella he would have to fully engage with it.

“Now Meadows before we begin.” Bella asked the girl Aubrey stood over “”Do you have anything to say to Miss Aubrey?”

There was a time when Aubrey would have been deeply humiliated by being addressed as ‘Miss’ but in these surroundings, corseted and  dressed in such a beautiful gown he looked every inch a fashionable young lady. Surprisingly the designation did not trouble him in the least and the truth being told he felt more than a little satisfaction at being addressed as a person in authority for a change. Of course the maids in Lady Charlotte’s home would refer to him as ‘Miss’ but this was more in mockery than respect. However this girl was genuinely deferential and he had to admit it gave him a feeling of superiority. Despite this he did feel conflicted as he had an affinity with her, he too had found himself in this humiliating position on far too many occasions.

 “I am so sorry for being clumsy Miss Aubrey.” Meadows said from her prone position.

“I’m sure you are, girl.” Bella answered for him “But unfortunately as you well know, there is a price to pay for clumsiness.”

Byrne, the other girl received a similar sermon before Bella turned to Aubrey.

“Each will receive ten strokes.” she said as her paddle softly caressed Byrne’s fleshy round posterior cheeks and Aubrey could see them tensing and relaxing  as the paddle moved over her plump mounds.

“Stay still, girl, or I will add another six strokes.” Bella said tersely before returning to Aubrey and smiling “We will alternate strokes.”

She patted the girl one final time on the right buttock before delivering the first smack which brought a little moan from the victim and nodded to Aubrey to commence.

Meadows, Aubrey’s victim, made no movement whatsoever as the paddle made contact.

“Oh that’s pathetic Aubrey. My ten year old sister could do better.” Bella scolded him “Being as delicate as you are, I know you may not have much strength but at least do try to put a little vigour into it.”

Bella moved to Aubrey’s side and brought her paddle down hard on Byrne’s left cheek which extracted a squeal from the girl.

“See.” Bella said returning to her position over Byrne.“It’s not that difficult.”

There were a few giggles from the on-looking girls and Miss Mellon gave him an encouraging smile, the Countess was having difficulty suppressing a grin.

Bella continued with her second blow which again brought a lively reaction from the girl in the form of a little shriek and a sharp movement of her hips. Aubrey stung by the criticism and comparison to a ten year old girl delivered his second wallop. It was marginally more solid than the first and was acknowledged by a low whine from Meadows which even Aubrey felt was unconvincing. Bella looked on, somewhat disappointed and a little exasperated nevertheless she gave him a supportive nod of her head.

Aubrey tried his hardest to increase the force of his strokes and on the forth even managed to get a seemingly genuine yelp out of Meadows but by the seventh his arm was becoming tired and a little sore from his exertions and it took every ounce of strength to complete the task. By contrast Bella with apparently very little effort had Byrne moaning and howling with every whack of the paddle.

After the last blow was delivered, Bella ordered the two girls to their feet and after re-arranging their skirts they curtsied. Aubrey thought that Byrne although having received a much stiffer punishment from Bella looked the more composed of the two, indeed she seemed almost grateful as she smiled at Bella. Meadows, however, showed no sign of appreciation to Aubrey in fact he thought the look she gave him to be quite disdainful.

As the two girls replaced the chairs in their original position Bella slipped her arm inside his as they returned to the company of Miss Mellon and the Countess.

“If I had my doubts about you before they are dispelled now.” Bella whispered to him “You really are as soft and weak as one of our junior girls.”

Aubrey genuinely thought, after an admittedly feeble start, he had delivered some hard strokes and felt most affronted to be told otherwise. Bella could see his pride was hurt.

“Oh don’t be angry Aubrey.” she consoled him “I think it’s an admirable quality. Not all of us have the same physical stamina. Some girls are just stronger than others. Isn’t that right?”

He was vaguely aware that lack of exercise combined with Lady Charlotte’s insistence on a special diet over the last several months had reduced his weight and strength but he had not realised it had been degraded to that of a mere girl. Much as he wanted to rebuke Bella the evidence of his pathetic attempt to bring some physicality to the proceedings was clear for all to see.  The implication was not lost on him and under the circumstances he would have sounded ridiculous if he had disagreed.

“I suppose so.” he replied sniffily, trying to maintain some degree of dignity.

“No need to be ashamed.” she continued “I like my girls soft and gentle.”

“You did not do too badly for your first time.”Miss Mellon said as they reached the sofa and sat and added with a degree of sympathy“It is a lot of exercise for a girl if she is unused to it.”

“Yes Miss Mellon,” the Countess remarked  a little too pointedly for his liking“For such a delicate girl Aubrey acquitted herself quite well.”

“Are you sure you would not consider enrolling for a few months my dear.” Miss Mellon asked “I’m sure we could improve your physical condition and I have no doubt you could assist our more gauche girls with their comportment.”

“Yes he would be a wonderful addition.” Bella blurted to Aubrey’s consternation.

“He?” Miss Mellon laughed at Bella inadvertent slip of the tongue “I strongly doubt if anyone could mistake such a fragile creature for a male. The very thought of it.”

“Yes most amusing.” the Countess said with a smile. “However Lady Charlotte may well consider it.”

Meadows reappeared with an envelope on a silver salver and with a curtsy proffered it to the Countess.

“It appears,” the Countess announced as she read from her note “that Lady Charlotte and Roberta have been detained, she has sent a carriage and asked that I accompany Aubrey to her home. She will join him there later.”

Hearing this Aubrey was so relieved he almost collapsed back into the sofa but his training and his corset instantly reasserted themselves, remaining bolt upright he was careful not to display any signs of this welcome deliverance.

However Bella was not so guarded and her disappointment was clearly evident.

“Oh please Countess let hi…”Bella began but immediately corrected herself “please let her stay for another hour. I’m sure she would like to mingle with girls her own age.  I know they would be delighted.”

“Hmm… I suppose it would be good for him to socialise with girls of a similar age.” the Countess mused much to Aubrey’s alarm and he could see Bella’s eyes light up at the prospect. “If it was up to me I would agree but it would be most inappropriate if I did not comply with Lady Charlotte’s instructions to the very letter.”

“The girls were so looking forward to an afternoon with Aubrey.” Bella appealed to the Countess, Aubrey’s heart beat a little faster as the Countess hesitated for a moment before responding

“Yes it is a little unfortunate, my dear.” the Countess replied as she glanced at the clock before she stood up. “I too would have liked Aubrey to meet some new friends but time does not permit, perhaps another time. I will suggest Aubrey accompanies me when I return to check on Karl-Maria’s progress.”

“Oh yes Countess.” Miss Mellon said her little green eyes fixed on the young man. “Perhaps Lady Charlotte may even agree to an overnight stay.”

It took all Aubrey’s resolve to resist the urge to shiver at the dreadful prospect. The Countess could see the disenchantment on Bella’s face and by way of consolation said,

“On the positive side Aubrey has invited you to tea at Lady Charlotte’s.”

Bella’s pout turned into a smile that dampened Aubrey’s elation at the imminent escape from her clutches. But conscious of not yet being completely free he managed to return her smile.

“Oh yes Countess I greatly look forward to that.” he lied with a smile and a well practiced eagerness.

“Now, a little kiss for your cousin before we leave.” the Countess instructed him.

Bella embraced him and held him tight to her body, her hand slowly and discreetly dropped to his behind and gently pinched his left buttock. She kissed him on the cheek and whispered in his ear,

“I can’t wait darling.”

Aubrey could only mumble some platitude in reply and almost stumbled over his small train as he withdrew from her grasp and quickly moved to the protection of the Countess who smiled as he promptly slipped his arm under hers and drew himself close to her.

“Such a devoted child.” the Countess said in the patronising voice that Aubrey had become so used to he no longer took offence.

 Clinging onto the Countess’s arm as if his life depended on it they made their way across the room towards the door, he could clearly hear the murmurings of disappointment from the assembled girls.

“You certainly made quite an impression.” the Countess said as they settled themselves into the deep crimson velvet upholstery of the carriage.

Slightly embarrassed by her remark he blushed and did what he always did when obtaining praise associated with his feminine performance- he fussed with his skirts, which only served to make him appear even more feminine.

“Well …I…”Aubrey struggled to find an adequate reply.

“Oh don’t be so bashful, Lady Charlotte will be delighted with your performance.” the Countess smiled stroking his tigh and added in a vaguely concerned voice “Of course it was most unfortunate that Bella recognised you, you know how giddy and excited girls get when they have knowledge of a secret no one else has. Hopefully she will keep it to herself.”

Aubrey clutched the Countess’s arm with both hands.

“But on the positive side she was enchanted by your transformation.” the Countess said looking out the window as they passed through the large wrought iron gates and, seemingly oblivious to his concerns, said lightly “What a beautiful day, don’t you think?”

The state of the weather was the last thing on the young man’s mind. The relief of finally leaving St Jude’s that Aubrey had felt on entering the carriage had now evaporated, the Countess’s observation had now instilled a fresh anxiety in him. 

“Oh…do … do you think she …will…”he stammered unable to finish the dreadful thought as his grip on her arm tightened.

“Reveal your humiliating secret to her friends? ” the Countess finished the sentence for him and as Aubrey began to whimper she caressed his cheek in a reassuring manner before continuing “But as we both know she was quite enamoured by you and I suspect if she told the other girls Lady Charlotte would be inundated with requests for visits. You may look and act like a girl but I doubt if you know how the female mind works in matters of the heart. When a woman, or girl for that matter, has a romantic interest she does not enjoy the prospect of competition.”

He looked at her with a blank expression as if she was explaining some complicated mathematical formula.

“Oh dear I suppose I have to spell it out for you.” the Countess laughed “You are the romantic interest. I wonder how Roberta will feel about this.”

“Roberta?” Aubrey asked his expression growing even more perplexed.

“It is a constant source of wonder to me exactly how did the male sex ever become so powerful?” the Countess sighed before explaining to the baffled youth “Roberta considers you her girl. Surely even you must have seen that. You should be quite pleased with yourself.”

Initially Aubrey became alarmed at the prospect but he had to acknowledge in a bizarre way the Countess was right. Apart from a few gropes and hasty fumbling with junior housemaids in his mother’s house he had been unsuccessful in his dealings with the opposite sex. Now there were two girls actively pursuing him. The idea took hold in his brain.

Any red blooded male would be flattered with two young women eager to seek out his company and perhaps even enter into an amorous relationship. Of course the fact that he was dressed as a young woman had to be considered. However his ego, starved of passionate feminine attention, immediately dismissed this inconvenient fact as mere happenstance, a cruel twist of fate and should not detract from his newfound attraction to members of the opposite sex. Granted, it was a most unusual, bizarre even, set of circumstances but being regarded as attractive to not one but two girls was a novel and exciting experience and perhaps should be considered a price worth paying. To his surprise he found the idea strangely appealing and allowed himself the luxury of a self-satisfied smile at the thought of being the object of two girls’ affections. 

A barely audible voice inside his head tried to protest at acquiring this female attention while dressed as a girl but the gratification he felt trumped the objection and his face was unable  to disguise this new strange feeling of pleasure that began to seep its way into his consciousness.

 As with all women of a certain age such an obvious girlish expression did not go unnoticed by the Countess.

“Yes quite the ladies man.” the Countess said as she patted him on the thigh once more and laughed“But in a dress, somewhat ironic don’t you think?”

His thoughts were still lingering on his two admirers and barely heard the Countess’s remark.

“Delighted with your newly acquired suitors, I expect?””the Countess said and in a motherly fashion caressed his face “And with those looks and figure you have every right to be.”

Aubrey smiled and felt the blood run to his cheeks, remarkably it was not a feeling of embarrassment he felt but, dare he admit it, one of excitement at being the object of two girls’ desires.

The Countess smiled to herself and thought Lady Charlotte will be extremely pleased at the way her charge was continuing to progress.

“We will have to make a stop on the way to Lady Charlotte’s” the Countess informed him “I need to consult with my dressmaker. I hope you don’t mind.”

Aubrey smiled dreamily and nodded as he continued to bask in the newfound devotion of his admirers.

A half an hour later Aubrey his arm linked with the Countess’s found himself in the elegant premises of renowned couturier Miss Florence Lithesome. A young woman in a plain yet fashionable gown of blue heavy velvet approached and the Countess engaged her in conversation. There were several middle aged ladies in large and small groups examining the gowns on various models who glided throughout the spacious, deeply carpeted room. As he gazed around the salon he noticed some of the women looking at him and he realised much to his surprise that he remained quite calm and quickly detected that their scrutiny was as much for his dress as his face. All of them smiled at him and he reciprocated in kind.

I’m not sure that colour suits her complexion. he remarked to himself as he watched cohort of women examine a particularly striking model  who was wearing a striped dark and light brown silk brocade afternoon dress Although I do like the portrait neckline and it does have rather a neat train. 

However he felt unsure whether or not he liked the satin panels at the back of the gown until eventually his curiosity got the better of him and slowly edging closer for a better vantage point he suddenly found himself on the fringe of the group.

“I’m not really sure Estelle.” he heard one of the ladies say cautiously.

“The lace cuffs are quite nice but…”another began before a third lady hastily interjected.

“Oh I don’t know Amelia, the draped skirt is quite becoming.” she said.

“Perhaps this young person may give us her opinion.” the forth member of the company said as the group turned as one to view the interloper a mere few feet away.

“I…aah…em…”Aubrey babbled like a schoolgirl

“Come along my dear.” this lady said slipping her arm under his and drawing him into what seemed to the startled youth a throng but in reality was no more than five or six well preserved middle aged ladies.

“Don’t be shy my sweet.” his escort said “No one will bite you, we always enjoy the company of such attractive young things like yourself.”

Aubrey looked over his shoulder for the Countess but she had moved a little further away and unaware of Aubrey’s predicament was in deep conversation with two women.

“Thank you for joining us.” One of the ladies said with a warm smile “My name is Estelle Parsons and these are my dear friends. We noticed you taking an interest in this particular gown. I was considering purchasing it for an upcoming wedding, we are evenly divided as to its suitability. Perhaps you would like to give your opinion, we can tell from your own gown you have excellent taste.”

Although quite anxious Aubrey detected no hint that these women had any inkling as to his true sex and felt a little more at ease than he had been under the scrutiny he had experienced at St Jude’s.

“And such a wonderful figure.” the lady who he was still attached to said.

“Yes Germaine.” her friend said, her eyes inspecting Aubrey. “Youth and good corsetry, an excellent combination.”

Aubrey blushed, it was not the first time he had been complimented on his figure and he took it as a sign that he had been accepted as a member of their sex. At another time this would have been cause for concern but at this moment his immediate reaction was one of relief and he became a little more relaxed.

“Quite so Elizabeth.”  Another lady agreed “and so poised for one so young I wish my own daughters were as polished. Unlike our new friend here they act more like Grenadiers and girls, sometimes I truly despair. ”

“Whereas this young creature has a most unconventional countenance.” a well built and obviously well corseted lady said in a curious tone as she continued to examine him.

Her inspection went on for what seemed like an eternity for Aubrey but eventually she concluded her examination and turned to her friend “Like your daughters almost boyish but at the same time so obviously feminine. I do hope I haven’t insulted you my dear?”

“Oh no, not at all.” he replied trying to disguise his nervousness at her pointed comment and as the other ladies laughed she continued to examine him closely.

Aubrey encouraged by the acceptance of most of the group that he was indeed female proceeded to give a detailed comprehensive view of the suitability of the gown. As he progressed with his commentary from the pleated hem to the neckline, the fitted appliquéd sleeves to the drape of the skirt the ladies watched and listened in rapt attention, surprised at such prescient observations from one so young.

Seeing that they appeared interested by his opinions he became less anxious, his experience with Lady Charlotte had taught him that even the most formidable and intimidating women had a weakness for compliments. However he also knew they also had an uncanny way of detecting insincerity so he had to be flattering but at the same time sound genuine. It was a delicate balancing act and one that he had honed so well under his mentor.

“Perhaps a darker colour would complement your delicate complexion.” Aubrey concluded and gesturing to the entire company added in a well practiced respectful voice “but you ladies are all so knowledgeable and most fashionable I think I may have made a fool of myself.”

The ladies gathered around him in a very protective manner contending the very opposite and declaring him to be most insightful in his comments.

“I doubt if the proprietor Miss Lithesome herself could have given us a more astute and perceptive opinion.” Germaine said to enthusiastic agreement from her friends.

“Yes my dear,” Amelia quickly added “You have an excellent eye for detail.”

There was another round of eager agreement by the women as they smiled affectionately at him.

“Perhaps I could ask you another favour.”Estelle said taking his hands in hers “My daughter will not return from Paris for several weeks but Miss Lithesome has told me her gown is ready and I am just dying of curiosity to see it. You are a little small in the bosom but otherwise have similar figures. Would you be so kind as to oblige me?”

“Well…I…don’t…I’m… not…”he stumbled, now cursing himself for allowing such a situation to develop.

“Of course she would be delighted.” a familiar voice informed the group as the Countess spoke from the periphery of the group.

The Countess introduced herself to the ladies, quickly telling them how her young companion was a most accommodating young woman and before he could even think about voicing a protest he was surrounded by this platoon of matrons. They escorted him to a section of the salon reserved for dressing and undressing clients which was separated from the main area by a heavy red velvet curtain.

“You must think us very rude, my dear.”Germaine who now held onto his left arm, said softly “ With all the excitement we forgot to ask your name.”

With events moving so fast a little anxiety began to creep into the young man.

“Ah…Aubrey.” he said in a low whisper barely audible over the cackling voices.

As the group settled themselves Germaine announced.

“Ladies let me introduce our young friend Audrey.”

“Em…ah…it’s Aubrey.” he mumbled but his correction was drowned out by the general chatter.

“So nice to make your acquaintance, Audrey.” Elizabeth said.

“Aubrey, it is Aubrey.” he restated, but months of timidity had robbed his voice of any conviction and his effort went unheeded.

“Audrey!” Amelia repeated “What a lovely name, it suits you.”

“Yes it certainly does.” the Countess added patting him gently in the cheek. “A sweet name for a sweet girl.”

“Now my darling Audrey, Estelle has asked Miss Lithesome to bring her daughter’s gown.” Amelia informed the assembly, turning to Aubrey she added “and she will be here shortly so we need to get you undressed.”

The excited babbling of female voice meant no one took any notice of his attempts to correct their mistake. 

“Ah…I… emm…”he struggled to raise his objection but it was far too late as one of the ladies had already begun unbuttoning the back of his gown and two others were performing a similar task on the button on his sleeves.

He was still coming to terms with his situation and looked pleadingly at the Countess who was oblivious to his concerns and as like most of the other women was otherwise engaged in admiring the dress that had just arrived with what Aubrey took as Miss Lithesome and her assistant.

Although he was dressed in a long form corset and several petticoats he felt as vulnerable as if he were naked however the ladies barely noticed apart from two who were most complimentary about the embroidery on his outer petticoat.

Miss Lithesome and her assistant inspected Aubrey from head to toe as if they were judging a prize cow at a county fair.

“Yes Madam.” Miss Lithesome concluded after a few moments “You are correct, quite similar in figure to your daughter.”

As the ladies watched with undisguised glee as the couturier and her assistant carefully lifted the gown over Aubrey and settled it over his petticoats, the error concerning his name now slipped down his list of priorities. Miss Lithesome quickly began buttoning him at the back and her assistant performed the same task on his sleeves. This was a ritual that he had undergone every day for the past several months and it never failed to induce not only a deep feeling of humiliation but also an acute sense of helplessness at the hands of women. However as he had come to realise these emotions had to be subdued, they could not be allowed to endanger the mortifying secret he now kept from the world. As the heavy satin rested on his body and Miss Lithesome and her attendant fussed about him these sensations were magnified but in this theatre of femininity he knew entertaining them would surely lead to an error on his part and expose his true sex.

A bridal gown he lamented to himself knowing that there was nothing that trumpeted femininity more that a satin wedding dress but quickly conquered his feelings of self-pity knowing the merest slip would surely lead to his undoing.

I cannot allow this to upset me, Lady Charlotte is correct I have to think like a girl if I am to maintain this subterfuge.

 Miss Lithesome and her assistant made a few final adjustments before she was satisfied and standing backing presented Aubrey to his audience. The rustle of petticoats combined with fevered chattering filled the air as the women moved forward to examine the gown.

“As you can see ladies,” Miss Lithesome began “The material is a combination of satin, moiré silk and lace.

“Oh yes quite exquisite.” Amelia enthused.

“The bodice is a cuirasse-style bodice with a pleated front.”Miss Lithesome continued.

“Most becoming.” Germaine commented admiringly as the other nodded their heads as they murmured their approval.

“The sleeves are three quarter with lace cuffs.” Miss Lithesome lifting up Aubrey’s right arm proceeded with her presentation, “The polonaise skirt, if I may say so myself, is beautifully pleated and also a pleated flounce at the hemline. The elaborate fine lace appliqué adds a delicate touch.”

Through all of this Aubrey was considering how a girl would respond in similar circumstances and immediately concluded that it would be highly unlikely that a girl would be glum or sullen wearing such finery. Although he thought Roberta would be an exception to that particular rule. As Miss Lithesome and her subordinate finally finished their fussing and stood back the room suddenly fell silent as they now focused on the entire ensemble and the person wearing it.

Estelle stepped forward as Aubrey managed to manufacture what passed for a genuine smile.

“Oh my dear Audrey you look so wonderfully precious and the gown is almost a perfect fit. Quite remarkable.” Estelle gushed and Aubrey could see she was becoming emotional. “My daughter has very little interest in fashion, she’s more at home with her horses and hounds and spends more time in a stable than in a fashion house like this.”

There was a murmuring of agreement and a collective nodding of heads amongst her friends.

“Miss Lithesome measured her several weeks ago.” Estelle continued “and was so disinterested she left the details up to me. So it is wonderful to meet a girl who has such excellent taste in fashion and really appreciates the exquisiteness of such a gown. Come, my dear have a look in the mirror and you will see for yourself just how beautiful you look.”

 She steered him in front of one of the large ornate full length mirrors.

Aubrey had been dressed in feminine clothing for months and was by now familiar with seeing his reflection as a girl but he was taken aback by the sheer femininity of his appearance and had to look hard to discern any hint of his masculinity. It was as if the wedding gown had drained his face of any trace of his sex and his corset and false bosom had ensured his figure resembled that of a well- proportioned young woman. His first thought was he had never looked more feminine, his hands ran over the heavy satin of the gown’s bodice, his fingers experiencing the softness and sumptuousness of the fabric. 

He then turned sideways to observe his profile adjusting his skirts as he did so, he was so taken with his image that he was completely unaware that he did not have to make the conscious decision to strike this feminine pose- it came naturally.

The Countess smiled and watching Aubrey admire himself and had to admit it on the evidence before her it would be very difficult to consider Aubrey anything other than a girl. And it was obvious the other women accepted him as one also.

Remarable! Quite remarkable. she mused to herself as the ladies inspected him.

“Such a beautiful flow to it.” Germaine remarked. “And it fits you so well Audrey.”

“And the pleats at the hem are wonderful.” Elizabeth added eagerly as the group gather around him to examine the gown in more detail.

“Yes Audrey, you look quite stunning.”Amelia gushed to a cackle of agreement.

“I really must see you walk a reasonable distance in it my dear.” Estelle said and gestured to Miss Lithesome to draw back the velvet curtain to allow him to walk into the salon’s main section.

Estelle held out her arm and Aubrey buoyed by his image in the mirror rested his arm on hers and was led out into the main salon followed by the coterie of ladies.

No matter how elaborate or glamorous the dress it can rarely compete for a woman’s attention once a bridal gown appears in their midst- and so it was in this exclusive clothing emporium.  Ladies turned away from assistants, models displaying dresses lost their on-lookers, every female present felt inclined to look at the wedding gown being modelled. Seeing the admiring looks and hearing the complementary comments of the other patrons Estelle beamed in delight.

Revelling in her role as mother of the bride the elegant matron led Aubrey around the cavernous room, acknowledging the attention and plaudits  of the ladies present as they progressed.

“You do look radiant Audrey.” she whispered as they glided through the room, Aubrey blushed at the compliment which gave him an even more feminine appearance.

Returning to her friends there was further acclaim from the assembled ladies and an approving endorsement from Miss Lithesome. After the wedding gown was removed the Countess and Estelle were left to dress Aubrey.

“I’m sure your daughter will make a beautiful bride, Mrs Parsons” the Countess said as they lifted Aubrey’s gown over his head.

“It is kind of you to say so Countess.” Estelle replied “but I doubt it. She doesn’t have the elegance of Audrey here. As I said she is more at home in a field rather than a drawing room. Not exactly the most feminine girl you ever met but she has a good heart and the husband I choose for her more than makes up for her lack of femininity.”

“Oh?”the Countess remarked unable to disguise her curiosity.

“Her future husband,” Estelle began a little hesitantly as she buttoned Aubrey into his dress “is…well shall we say …exquisitely refined and genteel and thankfully more compliant than my daughter. His mother and I have been friends since childhood and he is…”

She searched for the appropriate phrase but the Countess interjected with a smile.

“Well trained.” the Countess said knowingly.

“Precisely!” Estelle answered and smiled at the Countess’s astuteness.

“Are you all right Audrey?” Estelle asked, interrupting the conversation as Aubrey’s body involuntarily shuddered.

“Yes Mrs Parsons.” he replied  appalled at the existence of such a male“Just a chill.”

“Some males, if tutored and developed properly with the appropriate discipline of course,” the Countess continued “can be more charming and endearing than many girls. Indeed can be a perfect substitute.  A surrogate daughter perhaps?”

“How perceptive of you, Countess.” Estelle said as she completed her task. “I expect my future son in law will come to a similar conclusion sooner than later.”

“Oh I’m sure he will, my dear Mrs Parsons.” the Countess laughed.

The conversation was interrupted by Miss Lithesome as she gathered and folded the gown with the aid of her assistant.

“I’m afraid we really must leave.” the Countess said and extended her card to Estelle who responded in kind. “Perhaps you and your future son in law would like to join me for tea some afternoon soon?”

“We’d be delighted.” Estelle replied and she turned her attention to Aubrey “And hopefully you can join us Audrey?”

“Audrey is not usually allowed attend social gatherings. Today is quite the exception.” the Countess said “Her guardian is quite protective but I will certainly ask and hopefully he will be allowed..”

As they walked towards the door from the corner of his eye Aubrey could see several attractive women a few years older than himself regarding him with a look he recognised, a look borne from desire. Up to today he had never experienced being on the receiving end of such an intense female gaze and found it both unsettling and flattering at the same time.

“You certainly made an impact.” the Countess said with a smile, noticing his admirers, as she stopped to inspect a red fur trimmed coat which was quite close to them “Apart from one or two minor lapses, which I have seen real girls make from time to time, you were perfect. I doubt if any of those ladies had the slightest suspicion as to your true sex. You looked every inch a young lady, you should be proud of yourself… Audrey.”

Aubrey looked at her aghast at the mention of the name.

“Well that’s what your new friends called you and it does suit you. And don’t tell me you did not enjoy their attention.” she said as she casually examined the coat’s lining.

“Yes…but…”he tried to object but deep down he knew she was telling the truth.

“Oh you can protest but the fact remains,” the Countess continued her eyes glancing towards the young women, she gently stroked his cheek “You have two girls pursuing you, I could not see a prettier girl in St Jude’s and you appear to charm every woman you encounter. And as we both can see, now these attractive young women seem to have a particular interest in you.”

Aubrey glanced discreetly in their direction, it confirmed what the Countess had said.

“I’ll wager you never received such attention dressed in trousers.” she whispered.

Although he would not acknowledge it he knew what the Countess said was true and felt conflicted at the thought of being the object of female desire while dressed as a girl.

“I think perhaps we had better go before you get any more attention.” she said and steered him towards the front door but in doing so they had to  pass the young women who smiled and  made no attempt to disguise their attraction to Aubrey as they glided by.

Aubrey tried to retain some degree of dignity as he passed but could not prevent himself from blushing like one of the junior girls at St. Jude’s. His bashfulness did not go unremarked by the young women who seemed to take delight in his demure self-consciousness.  

The Countess dispensed with the carriage and elected to walk the short distance to Lady Charlotte’s house. A few hours ago the very thought of stepping out in public dressed in female clothing would have reduced Aubrey to a blubbering wreck.  Although his achievement in navigating the potential catastrophe that was St. Jude’s and Miss Lithesome’s emporium had calmed his nerves somewhat he nevertheless had to endure the continuing humiliation of wearing feminine attire and of course the ever present attendant risk of exposure. The fear of meeting someone he knew and being recognised ensured he sought the protective arm of the Countess.

“Yes my dear Audrey, you have made quite the impact on the female sex.” the Countess said “Lady Charlotte may have to lock you up for your own safety.”

Although mildly irritated by the use of the name he remained silent knowing that dressed as he was in such feminine finery, a display of petulance would only make him look and sound more foolish not to mention drawing unwanted attention. Moreover he was still coming to terms with the Countess’s observations and deductions regarding his attractiveness to the female sex and, try as he might, found it difficult to refute them. Under normal circumstance he would have been delighted to be the object of several girls’ desires but as his current attire testified -these were far from normal circumstances.

It left him conflicted between a masculinity he was struggling to cling to, and something he always wanted but could never attain an  irresistibility to the female sex.

The Countess like most women of her age was highly adept at reading facial expressions and Aubrey’s posed no difficulty for her.

“You really are like a girl.” she laughed much to Aubrey’s obvious chagrin “You can’t make up your mind whether to be flattered or offended. I would strongly suggest you enjoy the feminine attention while it lasts. Encourage it.”

“But eventually they will discover I’m male.” Aubrey answered.

“You would be surprised how many girls and women find a feminised male alluring.” the Countess remarked as they approached the steps of Lady Charlotte’s home “ I know for certain Karl-Maria will have several proposals of marriage when he emerges from St Jude’s. His youngest suitor is twenty and the oldest is thirty five, a little younger than myself.”

The door opened as they reached the top step.

“The mistress in the Blue drawing room, Countess.” Sarah, one of Lady Charlotte’s housemaids, said as she curtsied and looked at Aubrey with an undisguised grin “Good evening Miss Aubrey, you look quite handsome. Is that a new dress?”

“Yes my girl.” the Countess answered for him seemingly unaware of the girl’s sarcasm. “Is is quite pretty isn’t it and the colour matches his delicate complexion perfectly.”

After being announced by the maid the Countess and Aubrey made their entrance. Having last seen him at St Jude’s dressed in male clothing Lady Charlotte could not conceal her surprise at seeing Aubrey in a dress.

“Yes, Lady Charlotte.” the Countess smiled seeing the reaction on her friend’s face “I know you were not expecting this but there was an unfortunate turn of events at St Jude’s which necessitated a change of Aubrey’s attire.”

She raised her lorgnette to inspect the figure in mannish clothes and added,

“I notice Aubrey is not the only one to have changed.”

“Yes, my dear Countess it appears we have both had an interesting day.” Lady Charlotte replied “Please sit and tell me what happened.”

The Countess guided Aubrey to the sofa opposite Lady Charlotte and Roberta and both lowered themselves gracefully onto the rich damask material. Aubrey instinctively- and to Lady Charlotte’s delight- arranged his skirts and glancing at Roberta he recognised a familiar look in her eyes. It was the same lingering stare as he had experienced from the group of young women a short time previously and Bella in St Jude’s. As their eyes met she smiled with a self assurance that he found annoying, he became slightly flustered and began smoothing imaginary wrinkles in his skirts and removing no existent stray hairs. A little tightness formed in his stomach and he felt slightly disturbed yet at the same time a little excited.

Roberta stood and went to the drinks cabinet, Aubrey could clearly see there was little evidence of any feminine bearing in her purposeful stride as she returned with two dainty glasses of sherry. Smiling at him as she extended the glass which he took, barely acknowledging her presence. As the Countess related the events in St Jude’s Aubrey sipped his sherry and dwelt on the Countess’s observations regarding the attention he generated in the female sex.

The Countess is right of course, I do like the attention of women but history dictates it is male privilege to pursue the female not the other way around. When I eventually return to male clothing I will use the knowledge I have gleaned about women to my advantage. I don’t see why I still should not be irresistible to them.

Taking another sip of sherry he noticed how Lady Charlotte and Roberta were intrigued by the Countess’s report. Naturally the Countess, knowing Roberta knew nothing of Aubrey’s secret, took great care to deliver her account of Bella in the most circumspect, almost coded language with accompanying enigmatic nods and smiles. It was clear Roberta suspected nothing was amiss. Aubrey smiled to himself as he detected a distinct furrowing of Roberta’s brow when the Countess recounted the episode of the young women at Miss Lithesome’s establishment. Lady Charlotte, on the other hand, was quite impressed with Aubrey’s performance and the way in which he handled a very difficult situation. Of course the situation with Bella was unforeseen and unfortunate but from her ciphered remarks Lady Charlotte was confident she would find a solution to the problem.

Aubrey had spent so much time with Lady Charlotte he could identify facial expressions hidden to others and could clearly see her pride in his achievement.

As the Countess completed her narrative they could hear voices outside the door and without the customary formal introduction by a maid the door opened, a stylish matron entered and before she took a step focused on Lady Charlotte.

“My dear Charlotte you must pardon my intrusion and unannounced visit.” she said “It is not your maid’s fault I just wanted to surprise you.”

Lady Charlotte was not the only one surprised, the sherry glass dropped from Aubrey hand landing with a dull thud on the carpet.

“You must be Leonara Cockshott’s daughter, what an extraordinary likeness.” the woman gushed  examining Roberta “You are the image of your mother.”

“But… I thought …”Lady Charlotte began but the woman had already turned her attention to the Countess who returned her smile while Aubrey just stared, unable to react.

“What a wonderful coincidence.” she exclaimed in an excited voice her focus now on Aubrey who appeared a little paler than usual “Such a gorgeous creature you are my dear. I just happened to be in Miss Lithesome’s premises earlier and saw you display that sumptuous bridal gown.”

“Why don’t you sit…”Lady Charlotte once more tried to interject but the lady seemed oblivious to her entreaties.

“Yes it was a beautiful gown.” the Countess agreed but the woman barely noticed as she was gazing intensely at Aubrey.

“Quite remarkable!”the woman said coming a little closer “For a moment…I thought…perhaps it’s just a trick of the light…but you look quite like…”

“Oh dear.” The Countess said “I think he’s going to faint.”

“He!” the woman blurted as Aubrey slipped into unconsciousness.

Faint and garbled noises eventually began to seep into Aubrey’s brain and he awoke with a short sharp spasm. In spite of the strong smell of the ammonia from the smelling salts still lingering in his nostrils it nevertheless took him a few moments for his head to clear. He closed his eyes again to try to refocus his blurred vision.

“Is he all right?” a voice asked.

“Yes.” another vaguely familiar voice confirmed “It is just a faint, nothing to worry about.”

“A glass of water would help.” a third voice added as his eyes flickered open.

“Are you all right Aubrey?” he was asked as his eyes began to eventually adjust to his surroundings, he nodded in confirmation.

The face looming in front of him finally catapulted him back to reality.

“M…Mo…”he struggled before finally blurting “MOTHER”

“Yes my darling. It was quite a shock for me also, I almost needed those smelling salts myself.” his mother said, holding his hand and caressing it gently, her eyes then fell to his clothes “However this may seem strange but I must say I am most pleasantly surprised. You look absolutely adorable and from what Lady Charlotte, the Countess and Roberta have told while you were unconscious your temperament has greatly improved, your character has been reformed and behaviour has been exemplary.

“I…can …explain.” he stammered

“Now don’t you worry Lady Charlotte has given me a very brief account of events.” his mother said softly “There is no need for you to be upset or troubled. Lady Charlotte had told me from the very beginning she could prevent you from degenerating into the typical masculine reprobate with no regard or respect for the female sex.  Of course I did not believe her but she has exceeded my wildest expectations. Today in Miss Lithesome’s premises you were every inch what I ever wanted. What every mother wanted.”

“But…I… it’s…”he babbled incoherently still coming to terms with the unexpected arrival of his mother.

“My only regret was that I stayed away too long and missed your education.” she said. “It is like missing a child’s first steps, or words.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were a male?” Roberta asked her face a mixture of disbelief and curiosity.

“Mother,” Aubrey, finally finding his voice, said “Now would be a good time for us to leave. I have learned my lesson and have left my old self behind. Can we find my male clothes and leave?”

His petition went unheeded, it was left to  Lady Charlotte to answer to Roberta’s question.

“We had not expected you to take such an interest. Well, I suppose at least you know now and this revelation will end your infatuation with Aubrey.”

“On the contrary, dear godmother.” Roberta said “Aubrey captivated me from the moment I saw her… him should I say. His sex may be male but I believe that, given a little time and patience, his gender can be moulded into female. And that is what matters most. I had intended to enter into, shall we say a romantic arrangement with Aubrey. Of course I knew we could not marry but now… well there is no legal impediment.”

Aubrey could scarcely believe his ears and looked to his mother for support.

“Marry… That is simply …”Aubrey began a protest but again was ignored as the women, intrigued by such an idea, turned their attention to Roberta.

“In fact,” Roberta continued “My grandmother gave me her engagement ring today as well as a sizeable portion of her estate so I am now quite wealthy in my own right.”

“Mother I really think we should leave.”Aubrey finally began to assert himself.

“Do stay quiet Aubrey.” his mother admonished him as Roberta cleared her throat and addressed her.

“Mrs St. Clair…” Roberta said a little nervously” I would formally like to ask you for your son’s hand in marriage. He is quite dear to me and I will promise to continue to nurture and care for him, ensuring he fulfils all the aspirations you hold for him.”

“Oh this is such an emotional moment.”Aubrey’s mother murmured clearly overcome by Roberta’s declaration. “Of course my dear you have my permission to marry.”

“Ah…excuse me… but I think… you can’t…” Aubrey once more tried to intervene but the Countess and Lady Charlotte were already embracing Roberta and Aubrey’s mother and seemingly unaware of his presence.

“A June wedding I think.” his mother said.

“I have no intention of agreeing to any proposal.” Aubrey declared loudly in a voice that even surprised himself. “Now Mother I would like to get my clothes and leave immediately.”

“Aubrey I am so disappointed Such an outburst is most unbecoming. I really thought you had changed.” Lady Charlotte said in a quiet voice that always unnerved Aubrey. “You should know the only clothes you had are now in  St Jude’s.”

“And after I last saw you several months ago,” his mother interjected “I told the servants to remove all your clothes from the house.”

“The only clothes you own are upstairs.” Lady Charlotte said calmly “And as we know, you will not find a pair of trousers among them.”

“I…ah…it…you cannot…”he stammered.

“I’m afraid Roberta, Aubrey’s behaviour still needs a lot of work.” Lady Charlotte said “Perhaps the Countess is right, a year or two in St Jude’s would probably solve the problem.”

“And he would be company for my own son.” the Countess added with a smile.”We could visit together Mrs St. Clair to check on their progress.”

“You… could not… surely Mother, you…would not…”another stream of incomprehensible babble left his mouth.

“It is your decision.” his mother said.

Roberta moved to his side and put her arm around his shoulder.

“Don’t worry darling.” she said soothingly and leaned into him whispering in his “I’ll be gentle with you and if you’re a really good girl I may even let you wear my trousers every now and then.”

Aubrey looked at the determined faces on the three women, the large and foreboding gates of St Jude’s loomed large in his mind.

His dilemma was resolved. He clasped his skirts tightly and turned back to Roberta.

“Promise.” he said, a tremble in his voice.

“Yes darling I promise.” Roberta answered with a smile and nodded towards her three companions.

 

The End