As usual thank you to everyone who ticked the more box and especially to those who took the time and effort to comment. It means so much.
There is not much I can add except to hope everyone stays safe, observe the protocols and help people as best you can and hopefully in a few months we'll be over the worst of it.
Stay safe and take care.
Carrie
A Very Victorian Education
By
CarrieP
Chapter 26
There are
certain events in people’s lives that unless locked away in the deep and dim
recesses of memory will continue to haunt and bedevil far into the future. For
some this approach can be successful but for others these episodes have a nasty
habit of resurfacing when they are at their most vulnerable. Such an experience
can prove to be most unsettling for the individual concerned.
Aubrey St Clair was just such an individual.
Positioned
securely between his female companions his arms firmly entwined with theirs, voluminous
skirts of silk and taffeta brushing against his legs he was lead up the main
staircase of St Jude’s Finishing School
for Young Ladies. If his brain had been functioning properly it would have
instructed him to use his masculine strength to untangle himself and flee.
However a lack of any meaningful manly exercise and a restricted diet had
eroded what strength he possessed, much of his male confidence had also been
worn down and replaced by deference to practically every female he encountered.
Being under the control of the imperious Lady Charlotte for months had
conditioned him to be compliant at all times when in female company. Although
the desire to flee her oppressive authority was always present he felt unable
to act upon it, after all leaving her house dressed as a girl was out of the
question. The one opportunity he had earlier in the day when finally dressed in
masculine attire was dashed by the presence of two menacing hounds. And now as
he ascended the stairs he knew his time wearing male clothing would soon come
to an end and within an hour he would find himself once more enveloped in layer
upon layer of the hated feminine garments he had been forced to wear for the
last several months. However dreadful
and humiliating this appalling vista was it could not be compared to the
unimaginable horror that befell the other male to enter this school with him. If
he did indeed harbour any notion of escaping it was immediately dispelled by the
vision of Karl Maria below stairs dressed as a scullery maid.
Remaining
securely tethered to his escorts as they mounted the stairs he resigned himself
to his fate and although there could be no escape he desperately hoped that the
Countess would somehow manage to limit the damage.
The young
woman that held his left arm was the Honourable Miss Bella Martinet who had
just recognised him as the participant in a play from several years previously
which she herself had participated in. Of course this in itself would not have
been sufficient reason for his consternation, the real cause of his increasing
anxiety concerned the role he played. The unfortunate boy was forced by the matrons
organising this theatrical performance to take the part of a girl. Until
encountering Lady Charlotte this had been the most traumatic event in the young
man’s life and a cause of great embarrassment. However in the intervening years
he had managed to create a vault in his mind and lock this dreadful memory away
hoping it would eventually fade but this mechanism was not always successful.
Occasionally, usually when alone in bed at night, the memory would escape and
he would relive the nightmare of that day. He could still vividly recall the
laughter, mocking and merciless teasing of the girls as he tried to retain some
form of masculine dignity while dressed in a pink satin ball gown. Even worse,
their mothers complimented him on his delicate feminine appearance and how the gown
he wore looked as natural on him as any girl.
He
considered Lady Charlotte’s treatment of him to be truly appalling but at least
his mortifying secret was contained within the walls of her home and crucially
the half dozen servants that were aware of it were sworn to secrecy. On the
dreadful day in question several years ago there were in excess of twenty girls
and mothers who witnessed his humiliation and their laughter still rang in his
ears. The ignominy was too much and he pleaded with his mother to send him to
boarding school. He left London shortly afterwards and during school holidays
he was careful to avoid any social gathering where he would come into contact
with the female hoard that witnessed his humiliation. However there were
occasions where he could not escape certain interactions with some of those involved.
One
particular afternoon stood out in his memory when the, as usual, exclusively
female company recalled, to his utter mortification, his performance and how
sweet and feminine he appeared. He felt quite faint when one, a particular
domineering dowager, informed his mother that he would have made a beautiful
daughter. Of course this was greeted with approving expressions and ripples of
acclaim by the other matrons present as his mother looked on with pride. Although
squirming with discomfort at every complimentary remark he could not protest
lest it cause offence. These ladies, oblivious to his irritation and disquiet,
seemed to think that his dreadful experience somehow made him an honorary
member of their sex. They were quite insistant he remain in their company as
they discussed the latest Paris fashions, the perennial problem of training a
lady’s maid, and other pressing issues of the feminine realm. They took turns
to sit on either side of him and as they moved closer he began to feel almost
encased by their bulky skirts which appeared from all angles to envelope his
legs. Although irritated at the constant
mention of his role as a girl deep down he had to admit that encountering these
ladies while embarrassing did have its merits. It provided a proximity to
members of the opposite sex which although much older than himself, forty maybe
even forty five years of age, were no doubt extremely attractive. And if he was really truthful he would also
have to acknowledge that they were never cruel or unkind in their comments and
despite his misgivings he quickly began to enjoy the attention they lavished on
him.
This
particular afternoon was memorable as it was the first time that he was kissed by a woman other than his mother,
the lady in question was so enamoured with his transformation in the play it almost overcame her. To this
day he could still recall the smell of her jasmine perfume, the heavy boning of
her corset and her cumbersome satin skirts as she drew him close and kissed him
fleetingly but tenderly on the lips. This encouraged the other ladies and each
of them took turns at showing their affection in a similar way. Such was the
excitation he experienced between his legs he had to quickly sit down and discreetly
place a cushion over his groin to hide the growing embarrassment inside his trousers.
However in
the midst of this newly discovered emotional excitement a voice from somewhere
inside his head was trying to make itself heard, warning him there was
something wrong with accepting the plaudits of these women. As the voice became
more persistent his emotions became more confused and he was torn between what
he heard in his head and what he was experiencing between his legs. Gradually his
masculinity began asserting itself, questioning whether it was appropriate for
a virile young man to be spending so much time in the company of women- the
weaker sex.
He began to
feel conflicted. This new experience had provided him with his first kiss and
the arousal it brought was like nothing he had felt before. Encounters with girls
his own age had not been pleasant, they were by and large nasty and cruel treating
him with disdain at every opportunity. But in the company of these mature
attractive women he was regarded in a much different way, fussed over and
lavished with attention and of course –those kisses and the urges they brought
with them. There was no doubt being
forced to wear female clothing for that dreadful play was a truly degrading experience but at least
some good had come of it with the attention of attractive older ladies.
And yet the
voice kept whispering.
His mind was
finally made up with the arrival of their ghastly daughters and nieces. The
remarks and observations of these preening, haughty girls, while overtly
echoing their elders’ views, were interpreted quite differently by Aubrey. Where
the older women’s comments were sincerely expressed with genuine affection the
voices of the girls were subtly laced with notes of derision and hints of
mockery. Quite soon after their arrival he made an excuse and hurriedly left,
echoes of girlish giggles and squeals of laughter ringing in his ears.
Naturally
after his performance in that terrible play his name was mentioned in certain
elevated yet discreet social circles and consequently there were a number of
such afternoons with these and other ladies. He became so endeared to this
cohort that once they even asked him to accompany them to a bedroom where he
was asked to hold various gowns to his body while the ladies commented on their
suitability for particular social gatherings. It was not the kind of thing a
manly youth would normally agree to but the consideration, warmth and fondness
that these ladies displayed towards him made it almost impossible for him to
refuse. He barely realised he was been drawn ever closer to their feminine
orbit.
Boarding
school interrupted these delightful afternoons and the rigours of an all male
environment began to erode the enjoyable nature of these memories and instilled
in him a sense of masculine superiority. Of course occasionally they would resurface
causing him so much shame that they were immediately dispatched to the dark
vault he created in his subconscious.
Now,
ascending the stairs between Bella Martinet and the Countess and knowing what
he faced he felt the cold shiver of fear run down what now passed for his
masculine spine. Having to admit his shameful secret to the Countess was a most
upsetting experience but now… now this girl, this spectre from his past would
witness his humiliating transition from male clothing to the layers of
restricting and mortifying feminine garments. It was almost too much to bear
and he could feel the beginnings of a teary sob bubbling up inside.
His
lachrymose state did not go unnoticed by his companions.
“There’s no
need for tears Aubrey.” the Countess said tersely “After all it was your
suggestion that you return to feminine clothing.”
“His
suggestion!” Bella Martinet blurted.
“Yes my
dear.” the Countess answered “Aubrey has this extraordinary notion that Madam
Olivia and Miss Lillian may wish to… shall we say … offer him their hospitality
for an extended period. Lady Charlotte may have mentioned to Madam Olivia that
his behaviour in the past has been less than exemplary and he believes they may
feel he would be an ideal candidate to join my son in receiving the corrective
education required for such recalcitrant young males. Aubrey became so alarmed
when this was suggested that he panicked and confessed he was merely masquerading
as a boy as a ruse to lure my son here. Of course not wishing to see the boy so
distressed I went along with this subterfuge. And as Aubrey has such soft, exquisitely
delicate… and dare I say it… almost feminine features I managed to assure the
ladies that although his countenance may not be considered classically female he
was indeed a girl. They were sceptical at first but eventually they were
convinced. And as you know he already has some knowledge of posing as a girl.”
Bella
laughed and looked intently at Aubrey.
“Well his fears are well founded. It is true
that Madam and Miss Lillian take young and difficult males occasionally to test
and refine their theories of behaviour modification.” Bella confirmed Aubrey’s
fears as they steered their tearful charge down a long corridor “Males are
generally such ghastly and shameless reprobates and would greatly benefit from
a year or two in the company of the gentle sex. Madam has never yet failed.”
Aubrey
thought there was nothing gentle in what he witness happen to the Countess’s
son.
Bella looked
at Aubrey and smiled sweetly. It was a smile that did nothing to reassure him.
“You’re not
that type of boy, are you Aubrey?” she asked in a voice that only increased his
anxiety.
Aubrey,
still sobbing, was unable or perhaps unwilling to bring himself to answer such
an uncomfortable and inconvenient question. It was now quite obvious to him
that Bella Martinet despite her angelic face had grasped that he was now in no
position to question her. His lack of response and shameful countenance
confirmed her suspicions, she resumed the conversation with the Countess over
his head.
“So by pretending to be a girl he feels that he
will avoid this fate?” she said.
“Precisely.”
The Countess replied and glancing at Aubrey smiled “And I’m sure Aubrey would
be most appreciative for any assistance you would give. Isn’t that right
Aubrey?”
The young
man could only nod between sobs.
“He is certainly pretty enough.” Bella blurted
struggling to contain her excitement as they stopped at the door to one of the
rooms and stared at the young man “I always thought he was far too delicate to
be a boy. But I wonder how he will comport himself as it has been several years
since he has worn female clothing and even then it was only for a few hours.”
“He may surprise
you my dear.” The Countess replied as she guided Aubrey into the room “I have
also come to know that Aubrey is a very quick learner and has spent the last
several months in Lady Charlotte’s guardianship. As you may be aware the
company she keeps is exclusively female and I doubt if Aubrey has had any
contact with a male in several months so I expect he is extremely well acquainted with
the mannerisms and traits of our sex. Isn’t that so Aubrey?”
The young
man shamefully agreed with another nod of his head.
“Now my
dear, while Aubrey undresses we can choose something appropriate for him.” the
Countess said as she steered Bella towards the large walk in closet.
As they left
the room Aubrey glanced at the door. The thought of fleeing momentarily entered
his head but just as quickly he calculated the chances of escape were very
slim. Even if he managed to avoid the hefty servant girls and make it as far as
the front door he would still have the dogs to contend with. Lady Charlotte
would view such an action as a cruel betrayal and he would no doubt pay dearly
for such a reckless and ill conceived plan. Aubrey was quite certain if he was
caught he would immediately be consigned to a similar fate as the Countess’s
son Karl Maria.
The risk was
not worth the consequences. For Bella Martinet to once more dress him as a girl
would indeed be extremely humiliating but the alternative of spending a year
maybe even two in St Jude’s was something that instilled a feeling of dread he
could barely comprehend. He undressed down to the silk chemise and bloomers that
Lady Charlotte insisted he wear to ensure he did not forget he was still firmly
under her control. Seeing his reflection in the mirror he immediately became
extremely self- conscious and engulfed by shame. He grabbed a pale blue silk
dressing gown to cover his lingerie.
“Most
becoming Aubrey.” the Countess said as they both re-entered the room “But there
is no need for such modesty. We’re all girls here after all.”
Bella
giggled as the Countess gestured her to remove his robe.
“Would you
like me to ring for assistance Aubrey.” the Countess said observing his
hesitancy.
The image of
the two muscular servant girls loomed large and he immediately removed the
peignoir.
“Oh my!”
Bella gasped, holding her hands to her bosom as she viewed the figure in front
of her and stepped forward to inspect him. “Such beautiful lingerie but… why is
he already…”
She looked
at Aubrey then turned to the Countess, her mouth slightly agape. The Countess
smiled. Bella still a little confused continued,
“Wearing girls’
lingerie under his male clothes?”
Aubrey could
feel his shame deepening as even more of his secret was being divulged.
“Lady
Charlotte’s insists on such beautiful garments.” the Countess confirmed “Isn’t
that right Aubrey?”
Aubrey’s
head was hanging in mortification and was unable to meet their eyes or bring himself
to answer.
“Aubrey!” the Countess snapped and he
knew an answer was now unavoidable.
“Yes
Countess, Lady Charlotte insists I wear lingerie at all times.” he replied.
He could see
from the corner of his eye that Bella was both amazed and amused by this
revelation.
“Lingerie!...But…why…how…
does he…?” Bella’s babbled as her excitement took hold, she touched his silk
chemise and after a moment or two her hand dropped to stroke his matching silk
bloomers.
“And you
don’t mind? You don’t…protest at such an indignity/” Bella asked lifting the
mortified young man’s chin with her forefinger and gazed deeply into his eyes.
“It’s
not…I…ah… it’s…she…”he stammered unintelligently and trying to justify his
shameful circumstances he almost sobbed “Lady Charlotte…she…insists.”
Even as he
uttered the words he knew such a defence sounded pathetic.
“Oh you poor
thing.” Bella sighed in a faux sympathetic voice as she struggled to control
her laughter“I suppose for such a strong, virile boy like you it must be most
embarrassing being forced to wear girls’ lingerie.”
She looked
at the Countess before resuming her interrogation,
“And not
only lingerie? Do I understand from what
the Countess suggests that Lady Charlotte has on occasion dressed youas a girl.
The haughty and conceited Aubrey St Clair reduced to wearing skirts and
petticoats.” she gloated, a broad smirk finally breaking out on her face.
Her goading
was too much for Aubrey to bear and despite his degrading circumstances, some
small part of his long suppressed masculine pride surfaced.
“It’s not
fair…you don’t understand.” Aubrey snapped with a vehemence that surprised even
him, his voice rose to an almost angry tone and he stamped his foot “I was
forced to wear these clothes. I had no choice.”
“Oh dear.”
The Countess declared her face a mixture of dismay and surprise “I thought he
was much better trained than this. I suspect Lady Charlotte will be most
disappointed when I inform her of such masculine ferocity.”
“Ferocity?”
Aubrey repeated incredulously but the mention of Lady Charlotte tempered his
frustration and understanding the consequences he managed to overcome his
annoyance and moderating his tone he attempted to plead his case “I… was… emm…
merely stating that… ah… the circumstances…”
“I must say
I am shocked by such an intemperate display of male aggression.” The Countess
continued, ignoring his rambling plea “Yes her ladyship will be quite
disenchanted by such an exhibition of male arrogance not to mention ingratitude
considering for all she has done for you.”
Exposed in
his dainty feminine underwear and under the intense gaze of these two females
Aubrey felt helpless and vulnerable, he desperately wanted to refute such a
grotesque proposition but the words could not reach his mouth. The mere
utterance of his guardian’s name had the desired effect and his feeble attempt
at assertiveness was quickly abandoned. His attitude immediately reverted to
the more familiar meek and passive one he had adopted under her tutelage.
“Oh please
Countess…don’t…”he pleaded, imagining how his conduct would be reported to Lady
Charlotte but more importantly what her reaction would be. At the very least he would be punished with a caning but this
would be nothing against the prospect of being dispatched as a pupil to this
dreadful establishment. The possibility of months or perhaps even years
imprisoned under the control of Madam Olivia and Miss Lillian and surrounded by
exclusively feminine company was a future he dreaded contemplate. It was an
outlook that brought him close to tears.
“I am so
sorry.” he sobbed, his fear generating a belief that he had indeed behaved in
an aggressive manner “I don’t know what came over me.”
“Hmm” the
Countess murmured thoughtfully as she scrutinised his face for signs of
insincerity.
“Perhaps he
is telling the truth.” Bella said much to Aubrey’s surprise and relief.
“Hmm.” the
Countess repeated, apparently unconvinced “Perhaps.”
Bella took
both his hands in hers and looked him in the eye.
“You’re
really not one of those horrible arrogant, conceited males, now are you
Aubrey?” she asked sweetly.
It was an
opportunity to redeem himself and avoid the dreaded fate of imprisonment in St
Jude’s.
“Oh no,
Bella.” he replied with genuine enthusiasm, only too happy to confirm her
evaluation of him.
“Miss Bella”
she corrected him with an engaging smile, her tone although still quite
harmonious now had a subtle yet distinct assertiveness to it that was
impossible to ignore “I am Head Girl and apart from the senior prefects every
girl addresses me as ‘Miss’.
He was
unsure if this was request or a demand, she was perhaps two years younger than
him but to him at that moment she appeared to exude an air of authority of
someone much more mature than her girlish appearance conveyed. Her facial
expression while still pleasant nevertheless took on a more self assured look,
he could not be describe it as threatening but it was a little unsettling. However
given his predicament he felt the best course of action would be to accede to
her request.
“Miss
Bella.” he repeated softly with a degree of deference that he had become used
to when addressing authority figures such as Lady Charlotte, the Countess and
countless other females who instilled in him levels of docility and
subservience usually only observed in servants.
“Much better.”
Bella said patting his cheek as a mother or aunt would do to a well-behaved
child “If I’m to supervise you it’s so important that you observe the
proper formalities particularly in front of the other girls. Isn’t that so?”
Aubrey
assessed his options and very quickly came to the conclusion that he was in no
position to refuse or argue. An innocuous remark had already placed him in a
very precarious position and it was becoming increasingly obvious that anything
less than deference to these women would be completely misinterpreted and
presented to Lady Charlotte as a re-emergence of male arrogance. More importantly for
Aubrey, St Jude’s was not the place to make enemies.
“Yes
Bella…”he said meekly before immediately correcting himself “I’m sorry… Miss Bella.”
“Good I’m so
glad you agree.” Bella replied “Of course when we’re alone I may give you
permission to be less formal.”
“Thank you
Miss Bella.” Aubrey answered immediately feeling a twinge of shame at his
eagerness to please this girl who, a few months previously, he would barely
acknowledge. Now she, together with the Countess, would have complete control
over him until Lady Charlotte returned.
From the frying pan into the fire he thought bitterly.
“I’m sure we
will become the best of friends after we spend some time together.” she said
taking his hands in hers once more and looking him directly in the eye. “Girls
usually form special friendships once they help each other dress.”
“Yes.” the
Countess agreed as she crossed the room, her taffeta and silk petticoats
rustling as she joined Bella “For ladies it is indeed a most private and
personal ritual and one tends to form very close relationships with one’s own
sex through such intimate familiarity , be it a friend or a maid.”
Both of them
looked at each other and smiled knowingly. Aubrey immediately blushed crimson
at the Countess’s explicit suggestion.
It was
obvious that, whether he liked it or not, he was now to be considered as part
of this sorority and just to confirm this dreadful suspicion Bella added with a
girlish enthusiasm he found deeply perturbing.
“It will be
such fun!”
However just
when he thought matters could not get any worse Bella looked down at the silk
bloomers gathered in an elaborate frill at
his knees and in a surprised voice blurted,
“He…”she
hesitated and looked at the Countess in amazement as she gestured towards his
groin “he does not appear to have a…thing. Is he one of those
hermaphrodites.”
“I doubt
that very much.” the Countess answered “However I had better check. You are far
too young to see what constitutes the male sex so please turn your back.”
“But…” Bella
protested, her gaze remaining firmly fixed to this area of singular interest
between his legs.
“Turn you
back young lady.” the Countess ordered in a voice that registered an authority
Bella recognised and although she briefly thought about objecting she
reluctantly complied.
Before Aubrey’s could react the Countess pulled down
the silk garment to reveal his penis tucked neatly between his legs and
confined in a small device that was identical in every way to a boned satin corset
and anchored to another device inserted in his anus.
“Ingenious!”
she said, her hand caressing the small protuberance and seeing Aubrey’s eyes
widen, there was a small yet distinct reaction
from the organ and as she stroked it she
whispered “Yes, Lady Charlotte is most creative, most creative indeed.”
Aubrey
despite his best efforts could not control the uncomfortable swelling of his
restricted member. His embarrassment was all too evident and he tried to avert
his eyes but the Countess placing her long elegant forefinger under his chin
raised his head and her eyes met his. She leaned forward and softly breathed
into his ear and squeezed his straining organ,
“We all really
must become better acquainted.”
After what
seemed like an hour but was merely a few seconds she withdrew her hand and
pulled the silk bloomers up around his waist.
“You can
turn around now.” she instructed Bella. “I have confirmed he is indeed in
possession of the male…ahem… organ. The poor boy is so alarmed by this turn of
events the items in question have…shall we say diminished considerably. Wearing
ladies clothing obviously has a most moderating effect and keeps the ghastly
thing under control.”
Bella looked
more than a little disappointed.
“Don’t you
worry my dear.” the Countess assured her “I’m sure that when Lady Charlotte
knows how helpful and considerate you have been she will extend an invitation
to tea with Aubrey so you can become better acquainted after all these years.
I’m certain Aubrey would like that, wouldn’t you Aubrey?”
Such was the
turmoil in the young man’s head he was now practically incapable of processing
any information and unable to engage in conversation beyond a few words.
He had
learned under Lady Charlotte’s strict regieme, the word no was rarely used to a
lady or any female for that matter. The first rule of life with Lady Charlotte
was obedience.
“Oh yes
Countess.” he managed to say and hoped he had said it with sufficient
enthusiasm.
The most
valuable lesson he had learned under Lady Charlotte was that obedience and
enthusiasm were guaranteed to ensure a lady would look favourably on him. There
was a time when he would have cringed with shame at such obsequiousness before
a female but like many things that seemed so long ago now. Seeing Bella’s frustration
and knowing he was now totally dependent on her to safeguard his shameful
secret he was desperate to ensure her cooperation. The frown on her face was
not a good omen and immediately recognising the danger a well practiced sweet
smile appeared on his face and he gushed
with an eagerness that almost convinced himself,
“That would
be delightful. I so look forward to it.”
Another layer
of his masculinity slipped away without him even noticing.
Bella’s face
softened and she rushed to embrace him.
“Do you
really mean that Aubrey?” she enquired as she stepped closer “You seem a little
hesitant. I’d hate to think you were just toying with my affections.”
“Oh no,
Bella…” he blurted and immediately correcting himself “I mean… Miss Bella, it
would be wonderful if you could take tea with us.”
“Well if you
really want it…”she said, her tone softening
“Oh yes Miss
Bella.” he interrupted her, his voice a mixture of concern and eagerness and
keen to quell any doubts she had.
“Now girls,”
the Countess interrupted “Enough of this chatter, we really need to get Aubrey
dressed or we may soon be joined by Madam Olivia and Miss Lillian.”
Aubrey paled
visibly at the mention of St. Jude’s Headmistress and her assistant.
It did not
go unnoticed by his female companions.
“I’ve locked
the door.” the Countess said reassuringly “and if we work quickly I’m sure
Bella and I will have you dressed in less than twenty minutes.”
He gave a
weak smile and fingered his silk underwear nervously.
“Don’t you
worry your pretty little head Aubrey.” Bella said in a comforting and sisterly
voice as she held both his hands “It is the duty of the Head Girl to protect
her junior girls.”
It was now
quite clear to all that he was now to be considered a member of the weaker sex
– and a junior one at that. Being referred to as a girl by his new protectors was,
despite his desperation at his predicament, more than a little disconcerting.
However in the greater scheme of things he felt now was not the time to express
these concerns.
His
antennae, thanks to months of conditioning under Lady Charlotte, were finely attuned to the nuances of feminine hierarchy and it only took an instant
for him to recognise that her statement required an appropriate response of
gratitude.
“Oh thank
you Miss Bella.” he fawned and briefly thought about curtsying but the remnants
of his submerged masculinity somehow managed to transmit that this would be too blatant a display of
submissiveness.
It had the
desired effect and Bella’s face lit up at his docile and deferential attitude.
“You are
welcome my darling little one.” she replied, patting his cheek once more as if speaking
to a child.
He didn’t
have time to consider such a patronising response as suddenly he felt a
familiar sensation, around his torso the Countess placed a heavy pink satin corset
made and before he had time to draw another breath she had begun tugging the
laces.
“Aaah…”he
whimpered as the garment’s embrace began compressing his frame, first from his
shoulders before she turned her attention to the laces at the bottom.
“Oh don’t be
such a baby. You know very well ladies suffer this daily. ” the Countess chided
him out loud for Bella’s benefit before leaning towards him and whispering in
his ear “Yes my darling boy welcome back to the joys of femininity.”
He let out
another low unintelligible whine and he jumped slightly as she smacked him on
his right buttocks. A small but significant gesture, as if it was needed,
reminding him who was in charge.
In the
mirror he caught a glimpse of Bella, her face etched with pure excitement at
the scene unfolding in front of her. It did not go unnoticed by the ever
observant Countess.
The Countess
broke off her labours momentarily as was usually the case with every woman who
had performed this task on him. As he recovered from her reprimand his
experience told him this was only a brief respite to allow his body to become
used to the sensation of confinement. He knew it would only be a matter of
seconds before the torment resumed. He sought to ease his discomfort and shame
by telling himself that ultimately it was a price worth paying.
“Would you
like to complete his lacing Bella?” she asked to Aubrey’s horror and before the
last syllable had left her mouth the girl was standing behind him, her hands
picking up the lacing dangling from the corset as the Countess stepped to one
side.
“Now, not
too tight Bella.” she instructed as she moved away to select some petticoats “We
don’t want him to have a fit of the vapours like some hysterical young
debutante before her first ball.”
“Oh no,
Countess.” Bella replied as she tugged sharply on the laces much like a rider
would pull on the reins of a horse to convey to the animal who was in charge.
“I’ll be as gentle as I can.”
With the
Countess’s back turned Bella gave a sharp slap on his left buttock and he
recoiled once more at the impact of the stroke. She once more used the laces
like reins to pull him closer to her and then leaned into him and murmured in
his ear,
“You are
going to be a good girl for me, aren’t you Aubrey?”
She drew in
the laces sharply and he felt his back jerking slightly and his midriff being
pulled in tightly.
Being
corseted and then dressed by women was a daily feature of Aubrey’s life and no
matter how many times he was forced to experience it the sensation of abject
humiliation at their hands cut into his masculinity like a knife.
It never got
any easier and served to reinforce his helplessness. The reply was as docile
and subservient as always.
“Yes Miss.”
“That’s a
good girl.” she said returning to her task as she gently but firmly plucked at
the laces at the top of the corset before drawing them tight as she added in a
low voice “ There’s no need to be anxious Aubrey, when my junior girls are
compliant I treat them really well. Once
you remember that I’m sure we’ll get along. ”
Her remark
alarmed him but he was in no position to question her and was reduced to giving
the required answer expected of a subordinate.
“Yes Miss.”
“That’s a
good boy,” she said in a patronising tone that he was becoming used to “I wish
all my junior girls were as manageable as you.”
The remark
stung him, being referred to as a boy and a girl in the same sentence as quite
disconcerting but he remained quiet. Her voice fell silent as did the room
apart from the barely audible sound of the creaking sound of the corset’s
boning straining against the heavy satin material- and of course Aubrey’s
occasional whimpering. Bella was so close he felt her warm breath on his
shoulders and her girlish rose petal scent in his nostrils. She then turned her
attention to the laces at the bottom pulling at them in small jerks which
caused another low moan from the young man. Another furtive glance in the
mirror showed a satisfied, almost triumphant smile on her face. With a final
tug of the laces she expertly tied a strong knot and tucked away neatly the
excess lacing.
“Now turn
around young man.” Bella ordered and as he did so a troubled look came over her
face “Oh dear…”
“Yes
unfortunately there is one department where he does not look quite so
feminine.” the Countess said with a smile as she picked up an object from the
bed “Obviously not the real thing but they are a reasonably good facsimile and
under a corset and gown will be undetectable from a real bosom.”
She slipped
the rubber object into the right cup of the corset and settled it into place
before repeating the exercise with the second one.
“I had these
made for Karl-Maria.” the Countess, ignoring Aubrey addressed her remarks over
his head to Bella “But I suspect they would be wasted under a scullery maid’s
drab shapeless uniform.
The mention
of the Countess’s son, now forced into domestic servitude albeit temporarily
for insulting the Headmistress, immediately concentrated Aubrey’s mind and he
instinctively knew upsetting or irritating his new overseer would quickly
result in St Jude’s cook Mrs Coldstrap taking custody of another scullery maid.
He would do anything to avoid such a fate and immediately decided to comply
with any of Bella or the Countess’s instructions or whims no matter how
humiliating. Lady Charlotte would surely return in a matter of hours and it was
vital she received a glowing report regarding his behaviour.
There must be no display or hint of my
masculinity. he
warned himself as the Countess completed fitting his false breasts.
Somewhere
inside his head he heard a faint but distinct hollow laugh.
Ha! What little remains of it. the sarcastic voice berated as Aubrey
cheeks began to colour.
“Oh my
darling boy, you’ve gone quite red.” The Countess said softly and leaned into
him as Bella was busy arranging items of clothes on the bed “I understand it
must be shameful for a young man to be corseted and dressed in feminine clothing
but surely you must be used to it by now. You’ll feel much more comfortable
once we get you into your dress.”
Close to
tears, humiliated and trussed up in such a feminine garment, Aubrey knew if
there was one thing worse than wearing a dress it was being exposed in his
corset and lingerie. An occurrence which
appeared to delight Lady Charlotte’s servants who dressed him on a daily basis. If Lady Charlotte or his Governess felt he
wasn’t making sufficient progress he was forced to walk around the house only
in his corset and satin frilled bloomers eliciting sniggers and giggles form
the maids. It was a most distressing
experience so when Bella returned with several flounced and frilled petticoats
he was only too happy to put them on. As much as he hated to admit it the
Countess was right, he would feel less vulnerable once he was fully dressed.
“Oh Countess
these really are gorgeous, and so very fashionable.” Bella gushed
excitedly as she settled the first petticoat, a plain lawn one with lace at the
hem over his hips and tied it into place “So light yet quite crisp.”
“Yes my dear
I ensured my maid had extra starch put in.” the Countess answered as she
arranged the hem of the petticoat around Aubrey ankles “It creates a beautiful
rustle when combined with the remaining taffeta ones. So very distinctly feminine.”
Aubrey
squirmed inside but in order to ensure he did not cause offence nevertheless
managed a smile.
“You are a very lucky boy Aubrey.” Bella said
as she lifted one of cream coloured taffeta petticoats over his head. “These
petticoats are the most stylish I have seen, I am so jealous.”
“Madame
Monique is an excellent designer.” the Countess said and looked at the subdued
young man “Isn’t that so Aubrey?”
“Yes Countess.”
he murmured.
“You
have been to Madame Monique’s?” Bella asked incredulously pausing momentarily
before continuing her task, placing another petticoat over him and fixing it in
place over the previous one, she added “A male in one of the most exclusive
corsetiere’s in London?”
“Yes, he
accompanied Lady Charlotte on a visit.” the Countess said helping her arrange
the petticoat “He is devoted to her and accompanies her everywhere. He’s like a
…”
Aubrey
wanted her to stop but dared not open his mouth, he was forced to endure the
continuing torment.
“Daughter.”
Bella interrupted with a barely concealed snigger.
The Countess
laughed lightly but made no reply.
Aubrey could feel the tears well up inside.
“Don’t you
dare cry, young man. You’re more of a girl than I thought.” Bella admonished
him before lifting the last silk flounced petticoat over his head “We don’t
want salt tears on your beautiful dress now do we?”
He closed his eyes as both women placed the
gown over his head and gently drew it down his corseted upper body and without
seeing could feel the heavy weight of
the material rest around his hips. The women, absorbed in their task, passed
complimentary remarks about the style, colour and fit of the dress as Aubrey
was once more being imprisoned in the full feminine attire he had hoped would
never again adorn his body. Without being told he outstretched his arms
allowing them to draw the sleeves’ cool silk material over his skin. As he was
already wearing the silk stockings Lady Charlotte insisted he wear under his
male garb the only thing that remained was to button the back of the gown.
“Would you
like to button him up.” the Countess addressed Bella as a slight shiver went
down his spine.
“It would indeed
be a pleasure.” Bella smirked, obviously delighted at the opportunity to
perform the coup de grace. He was
pulled closer as she tugged the silk material taut and began to thread the
small buttons through the buttonholes.
Aubrey still
could not bear to open his eyes and only did so when he felt the soft stroke of
a brush on his cheeks.
“We can’t
have you appearing without a little colour on your face.” the Countess said and
as Bella worked her way up the dress he felt the dress enveloping him.
“What a
beautiful figure he has.”Bella said reaching his shoulders and he knew in a few
seconds the fastening of the buttons at the back of his neck would complete his
incarceration. He imagined this is how a
prisoner would feel when the key to his cell turned and he found himself unable
to escape. As Bella pushed the last button through its hole he was now
completely confined by his warders in silk and satin.
She led him
to the bed, his back ramrod straight from the rigid corset and grimaced as he
slowly lowered himself onto the bed’s soft satin quilt. The Countess produced a
pair of black patent leather calf high boots with a three inch heels and
lifting his skirts Bella placed them on either foot and each woman took it in
turns to fasten each of the ten silver buttons.
“Stand.”
Bella issued the command like a sergeant-major “Time to view our new girl in
all her finery.”
He raised
himself to his feet and without thinking he instinctively fluffed out the skirt
and ensured it fell properly before he even moved away from the bed. Both women
looked at each other and smiled.
The Countess is wrong, no matter how many times this happens I will never get used to it. Although it is a nice colour however I’m not
sure I like the bodice he said to himself as his hands intuitively smoothed
out some small folds in the soft material I’m only
agreeing to this to avoid being held captive in this ghastly place.”
“Now walk up
and down so we can see how your gown fits and moves and if we need to correct
your gait.” Bella ordered.
“If needs be
I have also included in my son’s new wardrobe a pair of shackles for his ankles
which would restrict his stride.” the Countess said much to Aubrey’s horror
“However I suspect they may not be required .”
Under the
women’s gaze Aubrey nervously took his first steps across the bedroom floor and
walked towards the far wall where one of several full length mirrors stood.
The gown, in
claret, had lace and crenulated trim at the neck a bib front and cuff with a floral
cut velvet bodice and skirt front panel.
Countless
hours of walking practice under Lady Charlotte’s watchful eye had all but
eliminated Aubrey’s manly bearing and although he could not see it himself he
glided across the room in the most gracefully feminine fashion.
I wonder how it would look in a royal
blue he mused
examining every detail the dress as he approached the mirror And I’m really not so sure about the
chenille fringe although I do like
the draped skirt and pointed pleats.
Suddenly
Aubrey noticed the women studying him intently in the mirror and for a moment
had a horrible thought that they were privy to the thoughts in his head and to
his consternation immediately realised how far he had become assimilated into
the feminine realm. Turning to retrace his steps he desperately began to search
deep inside himself for his absent masculinity and much as he tried to affect a
manly stride was unable to do so. It was as if the heavy and voluminous gown
would not allow such an unsophisticated, awkward motion to desecrate a thing of
exquisite elegance. And so despite himself he moved across the room with all
the elegance of a ship under sail.
The Countess
smiled at his mastery of the feminine gait, hips moving gently from side to
side and one foot following the other in short restrained steps and wondered
how many weeks it took Lady Charlotte to perfect it. None of the girls she saw
here could match his gracefulness.
“Hmm. Not
bad I suppose.” Bella grumbled, quite disappointed he was so accomplished but was determined to assert her authority
over him. “But it still needs a little work and I doubt if he has any idea how a
girl should behave in company. However if he follows instructions and obeys
everything I say I think he may succeed in convincing everyone he really is a
girl.”
The Countess
struggled to suppress a laugh, Aubrey was more a more sophisticated and well
schooled example of femininity than any girl in the school including Bella.
However as it was important that Bella not reveal his true identity and to this
end the Countess felt Bella should believe she had a role to play in this
subterfuge.
“I think you
are right my dear.” the Countess said. “He needs a firm guiding hand and is
lucky to have you perform such a task. Show Bella just how grateful you are Aubrey.”
“Thank you
Miss Bella.” he said quietly and seeing the Countess’s discreet but deliberate nod
he curtsied.
The Countess
almost laughed as she saw the look of excitement on Bella’s face and glanced at
the clock.
“Now girls,
I think it is time we were going.” she said linking her arms in Aubrey’s as she
steered them both towards the door.
Aubrey let
out a low whimper as the sound of rusting silk and satin filled the air.
Dear Carrie,your delightful piece provided a much needed interlude of joy and solace in this difficult period for all of us. Bless you and get working on the next chapter, girl! Love Geraldine x
ReplyDeleteWonderful chapter! More! more! More!
ReplyDeleteHi Geraldine/Bonzodoug
ReplyDeleteGreat to hear from you again Geraldine. We certainly are living through extraordinary times and I’m so glad you enjoyed the last chapter. I don’t think Aubrey would mind that readers are getting a some solace from reports of his trials and tribulations and that they are helping to alleviate the burden and strain of our own situation.
I have an interview with Lady Charlotte this afternoon so I need to practice my curtsying and I’m quite sure she will be eager to begin to record the next chapter.
Thank you also Bonzodoug great to know you’ve enjoyed it. Hopefully the next one won’t be as long in coming.
Thanks to you both for taking the time to comment.
Take care
Carrie
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteHello Carrie,
ReplyDeleteI'm very sorry that this is such a late comment.
This was a great chapter as always, I look forward to seeing if Bella and the Countess can convince the school that Aubrey is actually a girl.
I just love the part where Aubrey's past encounters with all female gatherings are described. It confirms something I've always suspected, that the women regard him with great affection and care. He says so himself, they "were never cruel or unkind in there comments" and they "lavish" attention on him. The afternoon where he received his first kiss(es) sounds very nice, no boy ever forgets that moment so it's futile for him to try and dispatch to a "dark vault". Also I notice at the gatherings he was again in between two ladies, some things never change.
You know throughout this story I've always kind of been on Aubrey's side, rooting for him to escape, for him to regain his masculinity. but now I think it wold be better for him if he remained under the charge of these wonderful women. Where else is he going to find such warmth, certainly not with boys or girls his own age. In fact I get a little disappointed in Aubrey when he has thoughts of disrespect after all the care the ladies in is life have graciously given him.
Please tell Lady Charlotte that I may cross the floor and root for her cause.
I hope you're well during this time,
Charlie
Hello Carrie,
ReplyDeleteSomething was wrong with my internet it wasn't showing my comment as being published. If you can please delete the other two.
Charlie
Dear Charlie
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your kind words and sharing your thoughts about the relationship between Aubrey and the ladies he has encountered throughout his journey.
Lady Charlotte felt it was important that readers were made aware that Aubrey was considered special by the matrons he encountered when he was first dressed as a female. She hasn’t made it clear that she was one of them or even present (although I suspect she was) but she’s obviously wise enough to know the moderating effects of feminine clothing on a young man.
We tend to forget that Aubrey is not the only one affected by being presented as a girl, the women that have seen him dressed this way (both past and present) have also – in their different ways -been emotionally affected. I suppose it would be interesting to read the reaction she and the other ladies had at the sight of a male youth forced to dress in a sumptuous silk and satin gown.
You’re right of course many men remember their first kiss and the effect it had on them. I can still see her now all these years later.
Although Aubrey has spent several months dressed as a girl he still retains the desire to return to male clothes and struggles emotionally with this every day and on some level knows the longer he spends dressed as a girl the more difficult that will be. He probably does not realise that “the thoughts of disrespect” you refer to are manifested in his facial expressions and so are obvious to the very shrewd and highly observant Lady Charlotte. Naturally the failure to fully embrace his new life will merely lead to an even longer incarceration in feminine attire.
However Lady Charlotte is a very patient woman and knows this is a lengthy but ultimately worthwhile project.
“Cross the floor.” A wonderful phrase and something I’d imagine Lady Charlotte would be deeply appreciative of.
Yes Charlie, I’m doing ok and hope you are also, despite not being in a pub for almost 6 weeks but a small price to pay for staying healthy. Hopefully restrictions will begin to relax a little in a few weeks.
That’s more in hope than expectation though.
Thanks again for taking the time to comment I greatly appreciate it.
Stay safe and take care.
Carrie